When Does It get to be over

Hoping my depression doesn't make it too hard on my new dog and guinea pig.

Life has been horrible most of life I am about to be 45 but past 10 years especially.

My health failed in 2004 and I used to be consumed with work and art and dancing.

My husband killed himself May 18th and our dog passed shortly after. I don't have any family and a distant friend in another friend never met in person. A pen pal. 

All life was for Tom my living. Managing our health issues and caring for him.

I have no happiness at all and and enormous injustice in the legal system I know pushed Tom over the edge with chronic pain and seeing the injustice we suffered all because someone can call and make a false call to 911. I have lost my faith almost entirely too. Faith in God . I wish the police would have just shot me in the back it would have been more easy for us all. 

I don't trust people anymore and am so lonely and with Tom gone it is unbareable being alone.

Taking Louie my new dog to PetCo to search dog training and some tlc. He seems to not like other dogs and I hate he can't play around with others like me.