When can I be happy?

I don't think there was ever a moment in my life when I was ever happy. I've been pretending and searching all my life and all I feel is pain and misery. I'm tired of being miserable. Is being happy too much to ask for? Just why was I born into this world like this?  Quite honestly I can't even keep a straight face while typing this. I'm sick!! And there is nothing that can treat this! There are too many holes that need to be filled, before I can be happy I believe! I just need help filling them so I can move on in life!