When are you going to just say Nick here is what we have done.

So I heard some lyrics from this band monster magnet that really inspired me.  The lyrics are this "When are you going to blow the game? When are you gonna blow the screen? When will you tell them that the crap doesn't last and you found a way to make your own dreams." Well it feels as if life is a game I have already blowed the screen.  I might not have found a way to make my own dreams because I fill as though there are people guiding my life and selling it short on purpose because I did "blow the screen".  I only wish that the people doing this would just say yea we do these things on purpose to "mess" with you etc.. and then say just carry on with your life as if you didn't blow the screen.  I could guess that the lyrics saying "The crap doesn't last and you found a way to make your own dreams. would fit in to my situation although I feel like when I do dream nothing comes my way or if it does it's at the worst time that it could.  I don't expect life to be handed to me on a silver platter because I am one that always enjoyed working and feeling those great feelings of accomplishment, but I know as well as those who read this that there are been things done to me beyond repair.  I guess an honest apology from those who have done these things would be the best thing but since I know that will never happen, what I would like to ask for is some new friends that fit the description of what I like about people. It don't have to be all about finding females.  Just people that don't bring others down so bad and have a positive outlook on life.  Friends that will call you for no reason just to talk and tell you about their day.  I have one that texts sometimes but I enjoy the human interaction of the voice.  I would like to get in shape as well but I think something has been activated in my body to make me gain weight it seems. I know that could be paranoia but I find some things very odd. I guess what sums it up is the people that are in charge of what I do don't want me to do the things I want to do because it's conterproductive to what they want to acomplish. I don't think anyone should be cheated out of their life.  Esp. if you think we only have this one time.