when all else fails,

I don't care what the doctors say anymore. My kids are seeing me fall apart. I fall down, or have trouble getting down or up. my poor wife, she deserves a better man. i cant sleep enough, i cant go to far, i am barely eating.slim fast shakes suck. they want me to lose weight but cant get me off the meds that put it there. my skin feels like sandpaper. I bleed and have sores. my eyesite is getting worse. my swelling isnt going away at all. I take lasix and butemin and still doesnt get it gone. when your kids hug you and say they love you 50 times a day you know what there thinking. and i am thinking it also. Eyes burn to tears, mouth always dry even with fancy mouth lubrication. Hard to swallow. Its hard to care. I have ruined my career and couldnt pass a physical if i wanted. The docs think all is well since my lungs arent making me sob but the treatment for the lungs is different than for my muscles and joints. They said"nobody dies from pain"