whats in a Name...

Once upon a boring day,  all achey and depressed I Looked up my name in this book about Names....Russell......You should try this sometime lol....The book only reference to the name Russell , was Rush, Rushing and Russler as in cattle russler...Now don't quote me on this, but my middle name is Earl.. That book had some pretty fancy explainin to do about Earl, as it is a title in some countries, like England I think,  and i think of the song Duke of Earl.....So far Im a cattler russleing nobleman lol..... nope not robin hood lol...Now my last name is real difficult, cause my adopted dad was blackfoot, and he told me his family was givin the last name by the government way back when,  and i think he said his forefathers name was like Runnin Deer... I don't have a lot of information about his family...Now on the other side the fence my real dad was a Cook... and he had the      honor of being a Doyle...  and yeah I forget what that was in the book, not a lot i remember... but David... Lots of things in the book about David... and in the scriptures and being of royal blood line. so on and so forth... it was interesting ....See sad part of life for me is I was born Merle Dean Cook... My grandmother and my step-granddad talked me into changing my name and letting grandpa adopt me cause he had raise me and couldn't have no kids of his own... Well I did...I changed my name.... to Russell Earl... dumb_ _ _Not only did I bring greif to my father, I lost a part of myself somewhere in all the bull chit  of my abusive childhood.....I spent my life trying to bring honor to my name.. being honest and trustworthy, keepin my word...Then in 1990, cause I wouldn't divorce my wife like my grandmother, adopted mom, told me too... I was disinherited to the fullest estent of the law...  yepp... grandpa he signed off on this too... my adopted dad... This is a done deal... can't change it...  aint losin no sleep over it... but I have to ask myself sometimes...What ever happen to Merle Dean Cook...It may not be the end of the world, but it is a horrible feeling to live with day after day... you can't forget... and I'm marked the black sheep of the family because of  it just based on my grandmothers word alone....Aint life grand...Think before you do anything like this to your children just because they don't do like ya want em too... don't mean they deserve to be treated this way....A name is important.... it defines who we are.... how we are... we carry it with us all our lifes.....Russell is a fine name.... but not any better than Merle Dean.... russ...