whats new

ok.. so its been a long time since Ive been on, and I just wish I could be on more..
I've kind of reached a place where my heart has given up on the concept of happiness once again.
My ex, (I may have mentioned her before) and I have cut contact over and over and now for the last time.. but I'm now so lonely.. I'm on my own in such a TOTAL way.. I feel like I'm on a tight rope with no safety net and the wind is howling trying to beat me down..
I know I'll be fine.. but I dont want to be alone.. I want someone to be there for me and let me rely on them, so when I get down andĀ suicidalĀ I have them looking out for me and making it all better...