Whatever

In an odd place this morning. Seems the mantra for this week: Jonathan. Odd Place. Jonathan. Odd Place. I think this is that "big thing" I was talking about recently. I have no idea where I'm going right now...I feel like life is dragging me along, and that's never a good place for me. The good thing is that I've gotten some clarity about what's going on with me; I met with a new therapist last night, one who specializes in addictions, and after just one session he was able to help me identify just what I'm struggling with at the moment and whether what I'm wanting is reality or I'm conflating expectations with a desire to run away from my life. That leaves me with the question of what I do with the options that are left hanging. The truth is, I don't know. And I keep trying to force my own hand, chasing my own emotional tail and ending up with this huge pile of anxiety. But...what if I just left it and saw what was going to happen? I think that's probably the correct choice.  That's all I really have to say. Nothing else of consequence, I guess.