What you can\'t say on a blog

I've been pouring heart and soul into my blog (www.achievingconceiving.blogspot.com) because now that I started, I just keep coming up with things I NEED the outside world to know.  It's really different than writing for my friends here on DS, because you guys already know the basics.  I didn't realize how much I've learned about infertility/fertility in the last two years that people like my own mom haven't.   The other day my husband asked if I'd sent the blog link to his mom.  Of course!  He cringed, because that was the day I'd written about how he calls my breasts "boobies."  I can't imagine that that would surprise his mother, but he was pretty embarrassed.  He'll get over it; he did.  And then the next day or a day after, he asked if we could not put our IVF results on the public blog.  Why?  I helped him narrow down what he was afraid of letting people know.  It turned out that he was afraid we would get pregnant, and that our baby would have some health problem that would make us need to abort the pregnancy.  That is what he wouldn't want his mother to know.  Miscarriages, fine.  But not this. He has a good point.  And so I wondered how to un-dig this hole I've just dug.  I sent the blog link to 100 of my closest friends and relatives... so now that we're starting our cycle, what do I do -- stop blogging when we get the results?  Everybody is going to know to expect some kind of news.  If it were negative, they'd expect to hear, since I'm so good at broadcasting sadness.  If it's positive, they'd expect to either hear or they'd notice an odd silence until the second trimester.  So I guess I"ll just keep my blog as general and philosophical as possible.  I'll work on it.  I told my mom yesterday that I have this new challenge: how to keep my mouth shut.  This will take some weeks to figure out. In the meantime, yesterday I went to have my mock embryo transfer done.  It was a lot more scientific at this new clinic than it had been at the old clinic.  This time it involved pumping the uterus full of saline solution so they could see it on ultrasound.  I don't remember them doing that the last time.  So yea, we're glad our new clinic is more thorough.  But here's the first ding against the new clinic: um, I could have used a pad.  SALINE SOLUTION!  They didn't take it out when they were done...  Hello? I felt yucky the rest of the day and ended up going home from work early.  My husband, always looking to be a knight in shining armor (Toyota), picked me up at 4:00 and took me home.  And then he proceeded to throw up!  What?  I thought I was the sick one.  Poor little guy.  It must have been something he ate.  Anyway, we were a pair.  I went to the drugstore and to get chicken noodle soup and crackers for him, and it was the first time in a long time that I've noticed myself taking care of him, instead of the other way around.  It's been months since I've been grocery shopping by myself.  My independence has sure changed since I got married.  In a good way. So last night I was putting my various medical receipts in our IVF folder and looked back at the schedule for when I was supposed to start my shots.  Turns out, yesterday morning!  Aah!  How could I have missed this?  Maybe it's because my pharmacy has been waiting for a pre-authorization from my insurance company (which they aren't going to get; I could have told them that).  So no drugs yet, though I did get the needles.  And of course we'd gone away last weekend for a break, and yesterday I was caught up doing the mock ET...  At 9:30 p.m. I declared that we had to give me my morning shot.  At my old clinic we'd done the shots in the evenings, and damned if I was going to be a day late in my schedule.  So here is what we did.  We gave me the shot of Lupron from the batch I still had in the refrigerator.  Thank God.  Today I'm going to do the shot in the afternoon.  Tomorrow I'll do the shot in the late morning.  The next day I'll do it at the regular time.  If we're 8 or 9 shots away from the stim meds, I think this will work out fine. So when did I start being someone who would make up her own shot schedule?   I should call the nurse and just confirm.  Duh.