what to do?

Okay -  I think we have some options here but it will depend, I guess on what my husband wants to do.  I cannot make this decision.  And, of course, I am assuming that we can choose the ultimate outcome. I decided to attend the meeting but without T.  I have to get in touch with the asst. principal before to let him know that we would like to talk to them before they talk to T.  I have to be there to find out what the goal is and what the options could be.  His counselor came today to try and get a screen and to alert T about this meeting.  He doesn't respond well at all by surprises.  Now I don't know what to do.  I will tell him that his PO will be at school so he will have to go.  He didn't go again until after 1PM and then I didn't see him until 6:30PM - long enough for him to breeze in and out.  No school work is being done......no backpack.  He is totally checked out.  Now it is a matter of time......... Initially, the only option I thought we could do was to send him to a very, very expensive, highly recommended 90 day treatment center many states away.   This is what I was focused on, until today.  It ocurred to me that a parent in our support group has a 30+ son who recently became REALLY sober for an extended period of time for the first time in 15 years.  They spent thousands and thousands of dollars in expensive centers but he always went back to using.  It was a dirty, awful 1/2 way house that finally did the job.  He realized he didn't want to live that way anymore.  That's what it took for him.   So now I am not so sure...... Then, after speaking to his counselor, I realize that there are two other options that I know of.  One - send him to the county court ordered place for 90 days that is prison-like.  The treatment is sub- standard.   He said he took a pole and found out that people in the field thought the program was so-so.  Some didn't like it at all and some said it was okay. The only other option is that the PO violate him and then he'd be sent away for about 6 months.  And this place is very prison-like.  Would this do the job though?    Who knows?   Everybody is different - some react well one way ......while others react well another..... and at different paces.....