What to Expect
My sister-in-law is coming to visit me tonight. We going for dinner and drinks. I don't know what to expect. She's a wonderful, loving "sister" and she has been very supportive (to a point). I know she wishes nothing more than for my husband and I to get back together, but I don't think he's told his family that he's asked me for a divorce. I don't want to spend my whole time with her talking about this depressing time in my life and I do have to remember he is her brother, but I can't shake the need to ask her opinion on the phone call situation with my husband. I just wonder what her feelings are on 53 phone calls in one month being "only talking". How would she feel if it were her or her sister Pam. Just because it's her brother, I don't see how they can condone this as acceptable behavior even though he strongly claims there is absolutely no affair going on. And I still believe him, but I still think this is wrong. Just flat out wrong for him to spend that much time on the phone with another woman. He obviously enjoys her company more than mine. But we ARE still married and it bothers me. Even though he may not be cheating, I don't think I would ever trust him again. I feel he has violated that deep inner trust I always had. Anyway, I hope that tonight is enjoyable for both of us. She lives up North and I rarely get to see her and she really is a sweet, wonderful person. Very good at heart and only wants the best for both of us. What would you do? I've said I'm done talking about it and having this kind of conversation with his sister could cause more harm than good. At this point I know it doesn't really matter to him because he's done, but I don't want to alienate the only family I have had in 23 years here. I think I'll take my cue from her and see if she wants to talk about it. Maybe she'll want to know more herself. I am looking forward to seeing her, just a little aprehensive too.
Replies
My STBX\'s sister is my sister, as well. We have developed a wonderful relationship over the years. Initially, I don\'t know if I would\'ve confronted her, but she came to me and asked what was going on. She and her husband have been wonderful support to me. She has told me that she will always love him because he is her brother, but she hates what he has done and does not agree with what he is doing or the path he is on in life! I think you just need to know where she stands...if she wants to have a conversation about it with you and if she does, will it cause issues in her relationship with her brother. Good luck and I hope you have an enjoyable visit!
Don\'t tell her anything you don\'t want your stbx to know. Blood is thicker than water. As I\'ve said before your husband at the very least had an emotional affair. He lied about that. What else has he lied about. It doesn\'t matter. You can\'t trust him anymore.
She will tell him or her family what you say so be very careful. Tell her what you want them to know and nothing more.
Good luck and let us know how it went.
Just got back from dinner with the \"sister\" and believe it or not we didn\'t talk about it at all. I\'m glad about that. I just wanted a nice, relaxing dinner without any drama. I took my cue from her and although his name was brought up in reference to things in general we didn\'t talk about he said/she said stuff.
I\'m going baby shopping with her tomorror with my niece who is expecting. I\'m glad that we can still have this kind of relationship under the circumstances. At least for now, don\'t know what will happen once the divorce is final and he brings home someone new. But for now at least I\'m happy to still have her in my life.