What to do with Mom's ashes
Today is the day Bev and I were going to spread Mom's ashes at her home. But I am having major difficulty with this decision. Bev and I are going to sell this house Mom loved and not live nearby. How can we just "leave Mom there"?!
I've read a lot of articles this morning on ash scattering ideas. I have had a mini-education! They can be shot from a canon, be put in a 5-foot helium balloon by a company and ascend to 30,000 feet, then burst and scatter to the 4 winds! They can be fired into a diamond, can be set into jewelry, can be incorporated into a plate or vase! They can be incorporated into fireworks ammunition. They can be put into a teddy bear! You can scatter them at sea, bury them on your property, be set on the mantle, left on the closet floor, divided among friends and family and scattered all over the world - and there are illegal things people often do too - let the ashes loose while on Disneyland Rides, put them by public statues, etc.
What to do?!
Mom did NOT want to be put on the mantle and have people gawking at her, or bowing down before her like at an altar! She definitely wanted to be scattered outside somewhere. But where?!
I like one thing a woman did with her husband's remains. She divided the ashes into many plastic bags, and put each in a beautiful royal purple cloth whiskey bottle bag. She gave friends and family who were traveling to exotic/special locales one of these bags, and had them spread his ashes there. One place he was left was on The Path of the Gods by the Amalfi Coast in Italy. I love that name "The Path of the Gods." Another friend scattered him in Joshua Tree, I think she said. Here's a story I read this morning:
"To get arrested, ash-scatterers usually have to do something egregious. In 2005, Chip Noteboom, then 44, and his siblings gathered to say a prayer and toss their mother's ashes into a creek near the family home in Doylestown, Pa. But Mr. Noteboom held back some, and when his sister noticed, he said, "It's between me and Mom."
The next day, the family went to watch the Philadelphia Eagles play the Green Bay Packers at Lincoln Financial Field. Their mother had been a huge Eagles fan, and Mr. Noteboom had secretly promised her before she died that he'd scatter her ashes at the stadium.
As halftime was ending, he made his move, sprinting onto the field feeling "extremely nervous yet exhilarated," as 68,000 fans cheered him on. He sprinkled the ashes, dropped to his knees, made the sign of the cross and thought to himself, "This is for you, Mom." Mr. Noteboom was fined $100 and did 50 hours of community service as a school crossing guard. "I have no regrets," he says."
:)
I don't want to "throw Mom away" like I feel we'd be doing if we leave her all on her property. We're going to be leaving her there all alone, with whatever families come afterwards. They might tear up the trees we have her scattered under, might never plant the roses Mom would have loved ....
Maybe best would be to scatter Mom here and there. Somehow the idea of scattering Mom all over the world is more comforting to me than just putting her in one place where we may never see her again. If she's all over the world, it's like she's all around us, released to be free ....
Love you, Mom!
I've read a lot of articles this morning on ash scattering ideas. I have had a mini-education! They can be shot from a canon, be put in a 5-foot helium balloon by a company and ascend to 30,000 feet, then burst and scatter to the 4 winds! They can be fired into a diamond, can be set into jewelry, can be incorporated into a plate or vase! They can be incorporated into fireworks ammunition. They can be put into a teddy bear! You can scatter them at sea, bury them on your property, be set on the mantle, left on the closet floor, divided among friends and family and scattered all over the world - and there are illegal things people often do too - let the ashes loose while on Disneyland Rides, put them by public statues, etc.
What to do?!
Mom did NOT want to be put on the mantle and have people gawking at her, or bowing down before her like at an altar! She definitely wanted to be scattered outside somewhere. But where?!
I like one thing a woman did with her husband's remains. She divided the ashes into many plastic bags, and put each in a beautiful royal purple cloth whiskey bottle bag. She gave friends and family who were traveling to exotic/special locales one of these bags, and had them spread his ashes there. One place he was left was on The Path of the Gods by the Amalfi Coast in Italy. I love that name "The Path of the Gods." Another friend scattered him in Joshua Tree, I think she said. Here's a story I read this morning:
"To get arrested, ash-scatterers usually have to do something egregious. In 2005, Chip Noteboom, then 44, and his siblings gathered to say a prayer and toss their mother's ashes into a creek near the family home in Doylestown, Pa. But Mr. Noteboom held back some, and when his sister noticed, he said, "It's between me and Mom."
The next day, the family went to watch the Philadelphia Eagles play the Green Bay Packers at Lincoln Financial Field. Their mother had been a huge Eagles fan, and Mr. Noteboom had secretly promised her before she died that he'd scatter her ashes at the stadium.
As halftime was ending, he made his move, sprinting onto the field feeling "extremely nervous yet exhilarated," as 68,000 fans cheered him on. He sprinkled the ashes, dropped to his knees, made the sign of the cross and thought to himself, "This is for you, Mom." Mr. Noteboom was fined $100 and did 50 hours of community service as a school crossing guard. "I have no regrets," he says."
:)
I don't want to "throw Mom away" like I feel we'd be doing if we leave her all on her property. We're going to be leaving her there all alone, with whatever families come afterwards. They might tear up the trees we have her scattered under, might never plant the roses Mom would have loved ....
Maybe best would be to scatter Mom here and there. Somehow the idea of scattering Mom all over the world is more comforting to me than just putting her in one place where we may never see her again. If she's all over the world, it's like she's all around us, released to be free ....
Love you, Mom!
Replies
My husband and I will be cremated. We have decided to spread our ashes in several different places. We know our property will be so0. However my husband wanted some of his ashes spread by were his dog was buried. We are both going to spread ashes at our favorite camping place. To each family decisions are every and when my mother died. Each of us were given ashes to do as they choose. The most important thing is do what you feel comfortable with and whatever do not have family discord while deciding what to do. It can also be postponed until a decision can be made. Just save her ashes until decision can be made. Praying for you and your family.