what to do when you have the urge to quit

I hate when I get like this, so depressed that I feel the urge to quit everything, I don't feel like doing any of my school work, I don't even feel like going to school in general and days like this I can barely get out of bed to take a shower. I feel gross inside and out. I feel like I'm starting from square one and even though I know this is major depressive episode, it feels like im in this impossible hole I can't get out of, like theres no hope for me and there isnt a point to continue. I don't know how to keep going, some part of me does though and maybe that's the most fustrating part. that as easy as it is to give up, as tempting as it is, some part of me doesn't allow it and I'm in this state of agony over wanting to give up but not being able to leading to me barely scraping by as a result. It’s moments like this, where I wonder if I have what it takes to make it, make it in life. Be successful, be a future wife, a future mother, a friend, a daughter. I wonder if I have what it takes to be a person who makes in impact on those around her, on the world around her. I wonder if it will all be worth it in the end. I want to make a difference, to change someone’s life for the better, to have a legacy of strength, kindness, and compassion. I want people to remember the lessons I learned and hopefully teach others. It’s just too hard to keep the faith, most days I feel like giving up. It feels good to give up, it’s so easy to just turn my cheek and be underwhelming and ordinary. Most days I feel like I am an ordinary, I feel like none of this is worth it unless I’m special which is really narcissistic I think. I just have this feeling, like I’m meant for more, like if I don’t keep going I'll miss out on something extraordinary. I don’t know what feeling drives me but it does, it keeps me going on and on even when I don’t want to like right now. I need to keep going. I don’t want to be defeated by depression, I don’t want all the people who bullied me, abused me, beat me down and made me believe I was nothing, to win. I refuse to let them win, they don’t deserve my defeat, my tears, all the times I hurt myself in the name of all the false beliefs of self hatred the world filled me with. I see it in all the people around me, fallen victim to a mentality the world has beaten them into, all the fight has been taken from them, their fire has been extinguished by their environment, circumstances, people in their lives etc. I don’t want to do that. I want to fight. I want to be a fighter, I wanna look my depression in the eye and tell it fuck off because it will never beat me, I will never give in no matter how much I want to and no matter how much I lose, no matter how many setbacks I face, that I will never give up. Never. But days like this I find that difficult. Days like this, I lose sight of what I’m fighting for, the fire in me burns a little less brighter. I will continue to push through, what choice do I have when this fire in me never seems to go out. I feel like I owe it to her, to all of them. Her being me as a kid, the girl who never had a chance to believe in magic and fairy tales. To all the kids who have been sexually abused like me, been builled and neglected like me, who have to deal with anxiety, depresion, Bipolar disorder and PTSD. I just don't know how to get rid of the urge to quit because even tho I don't quit, it's still incrediably difficult to deal with and hold me back and I have no idea what to do bout it