What to do when it\'s DIET or DIE

 THE FIRST EMOTION IS SCARED.THE SECOND EMOTION IS OH, MY GOD, WHAT AM I GONNA DO? This journal entry is for those of us who are "morbidly obese". A fancy medical term for SO FAT WE COULD DIE AT ANY MOMENT. I am writing this because someone on here asked me, DO YOU BELIEVE THE URGE TO EAT CAN OVERRIDE OUR CONCERN FOR OUR HEALTH? With heart disease the leading cause of death among women, and diabetes becoming an  epidemic, we sometimes worry about how we look to others, what others may say about us,  or to us, which shows that we need to rearrange our priorities. When I was 37 I had a heart attack.  I weighed about 300 lbs. at the time.My eating was normal, although I could not make anyone believe that.  I struggle with bitterness that doctors just ASSUMED I had a terrible eating disorder, instead of referring me to an endocrinologist. IN OTHER WORDS, THEY WERE ACCUSING ME OF BEING A LIAR. To make a long story short, I got down to 270 by starvation, but then ultimately up to 334.   Thanks to FINALLY being taken seriously (tests showed an extremely low thyroid, some adrenal problems, and pituitary involvement, in addition to excess estrogen). BY THAT TIME I WAS IN MY 40'S AND VERY PISSED OFF!!!! For a while I wallowed in THIS ISN'T FAIR. WHY CAN'T I EAT LIKE OTHER PEOPLE???? because I can't. because I never will be able to, even with thyroid medication. I am now turning 63 and about 230 lbs. In other words, I'm about 100 LESS THAN MY TOP WEIGHT. I try not to think of the long and arduous journey that remains to be. THERE WERE A LOT OF DIABETICS IN MY FAMILY.  My blood sugar is normal (Now it is, I had gestational diabetes during pregnancy).  My cholesterol is just borderline high. When I get tempted to EAT LIKE THIN PEOPLE CAN, I give myself a reality check. I still have to endure the stares and remarks of others.  She's probably eating like a pig.  She's lazy.   I JUST FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE.  I KNOW THE TRUTH.  I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER OTHERS, JUST MYSELF.