What to Do..Two!

So here I sit here again, a full week nearly to the minute, facing the identical tenuous deliberation which I had last Monday morning. While the weather has been somewhat temperate over the course of the past seven days, the respective thawing/freezing process has left my driveway covered in impenetrable slick white concrete. As I contemplate whether to risk my very existence negotiating said slick substrate in the dense darkness - I too ponder whether “Old Man Winter” will grant me seven more days to preserve my alarmingly amassed accumulations. What to do…what to do.
 
Will the above-freezing days forecasted for this week allow my cryogenically entombed rubbish to change state to proboscis provoking putridity? Will I perhaps be spared said nasal numbing nuisance and be given a proverbial pass? What to do…What to do.
 
Should I damn the torpedoes, venture fourth into the foreboding concrete abyss and lug my ever mounting trash to the curb at risk of my very life and limb? Should I play it safe, hit the hay and spin the roulette wheel of waste? What to do…what to do?
 
Any suggestions are welcomed; I'm willing to wait. ;-)

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

Just slide your trash down the driveway, if you do it right it might just stop at the kerb :P
steve711
steve711

Kamasu Very innovative indeed. The Winter Olympic Curling concept sounds viable enough; unfortunately said slick cement-esque surface is replete with craters reminiscent of the lunar surface. ;-)
deleted_user
deleted_user

Aha but you regretfully didn\'t mention that :P solution is this: Water. Slosh cold water over it to fill said craters with slick icey stuff, and you\'ll have your own curling rink in no time :D
steve711
steve711

Klever (deliberately misspelled for effect) Kamasu at it again; Im glad youre on my side! ;-) While your suggestion is unquestionably Nobel Prize worthy, unfortunately three factors exist which (to my chagrin) render said solution unfeasible:

(1) My outside hose bib is winterized; my garden hose remains frozen.

(2) My Zamboni machine is winterized as well.

(3) If numbers (1) and (2) were remedied, the prodigious quantity of water required to fill the innumerable defects within the stretch of my 100 foot long driveway would likely deplete my well water supply permanently. Said depletion would necessitate a new well site to be surveyed, drilled and tapped assuming additional potable water exists within the bounds of my land. If I were to exhaust the water supply on my property, I would be relegated to angle-drilling and tapping into an adjoining neighbors water supply. This unethical tactic would have to be done at great expense and performed surreptitiously, likely by cover of darkness.

Alternatively, Ive considered contracting a forest-fire-bombing aircraft armada to air-drop ample water to level the offending surface. The aircraft (most likely helicopters) would have to fly in low and disseminate the literal deluges of water with military precision to avert catastrophic hydro-bounce-back, which would defeat the entire proposition. I must of course weigh the exorbitant expense of the aforementioned endeavor against the laws of practicality; I am deeply immersed in a full cost analysis as I type.

Thank you for your creative suggestions! Should you have any more Id love to read them. Take your time; Im willing to wait. ;-)