What to do next?
I met my husband, Kirk when I was 15. He was my first and only love - my soulmate. We married when I was 20 and he was 23. We have 4 amazing children. On June 6, 2013, I woke to find him on the floor next to our bed. Sudden death due to cardiac arrhythmia is what the coroner said. 32 years of marriage, 37 years together, and my world came crashing down.
It has been 14 months and sometimes I feel like I'm doing okay, then it hits me - I'm alone and will be forever. I'm 53 years old and never imagined I'd be looking at spending the rest of my life without my husband. We do have 4 wonderful children and my youngest - a daughter - is 17 and still at home with me. She just started her senior year of high school. Perhaps that is the reason that the last couple of weeks have been so hard. I am coming to the realization that I am only 8 months away from being completely alone in our house.
I guess I'm feeling sorry for myself and am looking at how I can pull myself out of this.
It has been 14 months and sometimes I feel like I'm doing okay, then it hits me - I'm alone and will be forever. I'm 53 years old and never imagined I'd be looking at spending the rest of my life without my husband. We do have 4 wonderful children and my youngest - a daughter - is 17 and still at home with me. She just started her senior year of high school. Perhaps that is the reason that the last couple of weeks have been so hard. I am coming to the realization that I am only 8 months away from being completely alone in our house.
I guess I'm feeling sorry for myself and am looking at how I can pull myself out of this.
Replies
The same is for me I met and married my Tim when I was 16 he was 18. We have 2 Son\'s, 3 Grandson\'s, 1 Granddaughter and 1 due on Aug 22nd.
I woke up Aug 21st to find Tim had passed during the night, it was to late to try and revive him.
We had celebrated our 36th wedding anniversary Aug. 13th. I was 52 years old and had never been alone.
I am at a loss on where my life is headed and it scares the sh** out of me.
Tim used to day all the time that no one wants to grow old alone. So I do believe he would expect me to find another partner in life. I don\'t feel I am at that stage now, and I really don\'t know when or if I will be.
I think when you have been with that one and only since so young you\'ve never really experienced dating and I wouldn\'t know how to.
Sorry I got off subject, but what I meant to say is it\'s okay to feel sorry for yourself. Then pick yourself up and try to find some joy in the situation.
Hugs, Sandi
Sandi,
Thank you for the kind words. Our stories are so much alike. Besides my four children, I have 4 beautiful granddaughters - so there is much joy when the family is together. I treasure those times, but when everyone goes home, the reality comes crashing back in.
I find myself feeling bitter when I look at couples - old and young - and know that is something I\'ve lost. Even facebook makes me crazy! Pictures of everyone out having fun with their spouses. I\'m fortunate that I have a wonderful job that keeps me busy during the week, but weekends drag on endlessly unless the kids come over.
I feel like I\'ve done a pretty good job taking care of the house, animals, farm etc. I was never the yardwork type, but have adapted pretty well.It\'s amazing what one can do when left to fend for themselves.
I\'m so thankful I found this site, as it is difficult to talk to the kids about how I feel as they are dealing with so much themselves.
Thank you again!
Hugs, Aimee