what to say.

What to say?  Well I have so much welling up inside of me.  Pain because people I love see me this way.  Pain because I am this way.  Agony because my mind chose to be this way. Misery because everywhere I turn I hit a brick wall with no door and razor wire on top.  Joy because the Lord loves me and gave me a gift.  Shame because I feel weak, and can not continue the war.  Oh this is just a drop in the bucket.  Just venting do not get me wrong I stand up shout I'm not done and crawl walk on.  God Bless, Sean