What they were doing

I am so happy to hear that Joanie's Douglas was finding some serenity, his center. I need to remember that Andy was also on a very positive trajectory BEFORE the cancer hit. That fall of 2008 after having been homeless for over a year, (couch-surfing, living in toolsheds...) and taken a Greyhound bus across the country, he had finally gotten a job in a funky coffee house, met a bunch of steady-working guys (who were also musicians) and found an apartment.
He had saved up enough money for the deposit and first month's rent: first time ever. AND he had a new girlfriend he was so in love with -- Lillian, the drummer in a great girl band. (Confusion management: he had met Heidi years before but they were out of touch at this point.)
He had just moved all his stuff in, and then came to Maine for New Year's and my wedding, during which his headache was just unbearable... but he wouldn't take any aspirin or tylenol. When he got back to Oakland he stayed one night with his girlfriend... and was taken to the hospital the next day.
He never got to sleep one night in the new apartment. Brain cancer, surgery, getting moved from California to Maine in the middle of the winter, basically never getting the life he was so ready to live... This is one of the saddest stories I ever heard. I guess this is what we all have in common as parents of kids who died so young. They never had............ so much.
Again, however, I like to remember how he WAS pulling his life together before all hell broke loose.
Love, Sarah