what the heck?!! (long entry & RANT)

Mondayi go to urgent care and show them my R leg... the doc starts pokin around like "does it hurt here? how about this?" and she hit a few spots that were pretty darn painful! anyway, she said that i pulled a muscle in the back of my thigh all the way down to the ankle.and that the vein that were buldging out were outer vericose so i don't have to worry about them. but they still hurt so i'm not that relieved.they ace wrapped my whole leg pretty much. after a few days, i'm not sure i like these ace wraps. they are pretty darn annoying! so yeterday i went looking for support hose but didn't find any. got a tip from someone that i may be able to find em at walmart, so today i will check it out. Tuesdayi had an appt with my new rheumatologist. i'm not real fond of the guy, honestly. he was telling me that i needed to work out Every Day, even if it hurts and that i have to force my self. but the last time i tried that, it hurt worse and worse till my muscles didn't want to do anything, and then i was getting fm flares right and left! i tried telling him about it but he didn't want to hear it. anyways, i brought up to him the concern of my high h/r and that my cardiologist wants me off the effexor. i wanted to wait till my asthma meds got adjusted 1st but he said that we will go ahead and take me off effexor anyway, and switch it out with cymbalta. blahh! i'm not excited about it at all. i also told him about the case i'm fighting with the VA for compsation for fibromyalgia. that i needed him to go over my records with me and help pull out where it says symptoms, that he may think are linked to fms. he only went over a few pages with me and pointed out that i had a lot of stomach issues back in 2002. hmm that's also when i started having head aches and jaw pain. it was also noted in one of the entries that i was sleep deprived. and all this time, i thought i didn't have any symptoms till 04. but i guess the guy form the American Legin was right after all, that it may have something to do with what i was exposed to at the Pentagon crash sight. ans especially since i was working there post 9/11 for the next year! wow.... good thing this doc noticed some crucial stuff. so he will make an etry in my record that the symptoms may have began back then and what to look for. i really hope i win this case!after i came home from the appt, i crashed for the rest of the day. i was so exhousted!and then after i woke up for dinner and ate... Ricky (the one renting the 4th bdroom) asked me to watch a movie with him. so i agreed. i'm sorry i did cuz he went all nuts trying to prove his point about muslims and beards! and uh, i grew up in a muslim country, so how can you argue with me?? but of course he wanted to and tried getting me to believe somehting he read on the net versus what i saw with my own eyes! wtf! anyway, every time i tried walkin away, he sucked me back into the argument. AND THEN HAD THE BALLS TO TRY TO CONVINCE SONNIE (my younger bro whose also a former Marine) AND ME THAT OSAMA BIN LADIN WAS MADE UP! AND THAT 9/11 WAS A FAKE AND WAS MADE UP BY THE GOVERNMENT! HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT TO SOMEONE (ME) WHO WAS AT THE PENTAGON <<AT THE CRASH SIGHT??!!! and this is coming from an ex army guy! but he got out like 13 yrs ago at a time of peace, so i guess he has no idea! Wednesdayi finally slept in! after i got up and ate breakfast, Ricky comes down and tells me wants to talk to me some more when i get a chance. oh great now what?! after burning some more dvds of my Olelo recording, going to the beach, then to the dentist to get my crown... i finally ask him what it is. he tells me that he didn't apreciate the the comments i made lastnight, bla bla bla. ARE YOU FREEAKIN KIDDING ME?! IT'S ME THAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE SAYING THAT!!! then he HAS THE BALLS TO ASK ME WHAT SIDE I AM ON! "WTF?" i asked him. and he said that i sound like i WANT TO BE A TERRORIST!!! WTF!!!! all because i made a comment about how pretty a jordanian guys eyes were that was on the movie! i told him that he was so far gone it's not even funny! and then he proceedes to tell me that because HE eats beef, that we won't and we are just tryin to fuck with him! he knows i can't eat beef because of my IBS! and i told him this long time ago! ok that's it!!! i told him that if he can't get his mind straight, then he needs to move the fuck out!! cuz i can't have him jumpin on peoples backs for the stupidest shit that has nothing to do with him!! AND HOW DARE HE SAY SUCH DUMB SHIT ABOUT 9/11!!! stupid ignorant fuck!! He said "who gives a shit about the Pentagon?! that was like on 01! no one cares about that!!"WTF!!? HOW CAN YOU SAY SUCH SHIT?!! i told him that he can have his delutions! but if he can't get his minds straight then move out! all of a sudden last night he calls me (i guess he left the house after i yelled at him) and tries to apologies. i told him that i didn't feel like hearing it and maybe we will talk about it tomorrow. i was so damn upset and shaking. i was afraid that if i spoke to him, i would fly off the wall and end up bashing his freakin skull in! and Lord knows we don't need that. i don't wanna go to jail.  well thanks for reading the Whole thing... it's long and i'm sorry about it. i just had to post about this cuz it ate me alive. thanks for being there... you all are so awesome. God bless! oh and please, any advice i would apreciate!  

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

LOL...im sorry the old Army guy need a good head soak in the shitter. Listen you can\'t have that negitive shit around you. Its not good for you. Now your body is going to react and your going to suffer. I say find a person with no agenda no strong political views and boot him. You can\'t do it sweetie. Noooo drama...you need peace and your everyday normal life. take on to much and your health will suffer....stop it now.
Philippians 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
deleted_user
deleted_user

I agree with federalmom. Get away from Rocl, you dont need him espically now.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Sweetie, he doesn\'t sound very stable. I know you took him in when no one else would, but I think he might need more help than you can give him and it\'s not very good for you to try dealing with this by yourself.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Also, in addition to what I said before if, for any reason you\'re not completly satisified with the service of the VA go right into the ER. When they released me about three weeks ago I had another emphysema attack on the way home so I turned my car around and went right back to the VA emergency room. They fixed me up right away. Try it.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Boot him. He is a seriously flawed item, and he hits your triggers. Peace and serenity are hard enough to come by with your other difficulties. Sure hope you are able to swing it so as not to have to rent out any of your own space. It is just too hard to get compatible people.
deleted_user
deleted_user

you don\'t need stress, tell him its better if he lives with people that have the same thoughts as him..so there will be less tension in the household. you need to feel happy in your own house!! less stress less pain!! go for a nice swim ahhhh! hugzzz
deleted_user
deleted_user

Sweetie I know you\'ve tried to be a good friend to him, but he can\'t reciprocate. Time to show him the door - you owe him nothing. He is not your responsibility. He has no respect for you or your opinions, beliefs and standards, he does not deserve any more chances.

Tell him to leave, change the locks, and if you\'re at all concerned.... let the local police know what\'s going on, so that if you need to call on them, they will came immediately if he goes off the handle. (and make sure Matt & Sonny are around too).
I hope your leg is feeling better, keep it strapped up while it\'s healing. Good to hear your doc seems to be on the ball - I hope it goes well with your claim, it just shouldn\'t be so hard should it?
deleted_user
deleted_user

I haven\'t been here for a few days. tou should as stress free as you can. It is easy to say and hard to do. You will be in my prayers