What's wrong with me
I feel so numb all the time. I haven't cried over my son in two days. I miss him terribly and I want him back so badly, but I don't convey that with my emotions right now. The past few days I have kept so busy running all over town with Jonny trying to keep him occupied. I've been working so hard with different vendors on different projects I'm planning. I'm negotiating with decal manufacturers to make 500 car decals to hand out to our Jarrett's Law supporters...I'm also working with Safety First to get 9 car seats donated to Jarrett's Law, so we can give them out to 9 needy families before Jarrett's balloon memorial ceremony at the cemetery on his birthday. Hopefully we can potentially save 9 lives in his name. I'm also in the middle of selling my house...the fast way. We offered up my $83,000 home at the cost of closing out my mortgage $67,000, under the condition that they take it as is, cover the closing costs and can have us out of our home in 30 days! So far I have two potential buyers..and another showing on Saturday...Jonathan has been having major behavior issues, I have an appt with our pediatrician today at 11, so we can get a refferal for a child psychologist...I'm really worried he's been beyond traumatized by this whole ordeal. We have the Jeff Dunham concert tomorrow with our friends...its amazing how three months ago I was so excited for this night out with our closest friends watching my favorite comedian...and now I don't even want to go! But the money has been paid, the babysitter has been booked and my friends have been looking forward to it for months, so I guess I'm going..
Replies
I hope that ya know....what you and hubby are doing......will save lives and although it has consumed ya....and taken ya grieving time away for now...its all a part of the process.... I hate that Jarrett had to lose his life to gain public awareness ...I hate that you and your family have been torn apart.....I will never understand WHY.....I just pray for you and your family daily...take all ya anger.....turn Texas upside down....and CHANGE THE DUI LAWS!!!!! YOU CAN AND WILL DO IT!!!!! You had better go out and enjoy youself tonight......because once the decals are ready...your gonna be one busy Momma getting orders filled!!!!! I am top of the list for a decal!!!!! Ya need to get out of the house....Jarrett would want ya to....do it in his honor......when ya laugh....think of how much he enjoyed ya laugh....smile...etc....know that he is with ya.....always has been.....always will be.....a bond like this...CAN NEVER BE BROKEN!!!!! Get prepared Michelle....your work has just begun...take your hurt and anger to the public and make ppl aware!!!!! I was taken out via EMS on Tuesday...all due to complications because of my accident....I have my son\'s KLS bracelet on at all times...the EMS Tech asked me......\"Mam\' what is Kleine-Levin Syndrome\"??? I never knew....imagined in a million years.....I\'d be educating an EMS Tech about KLS on my way to the ER!!!!!! Get some yellow bracelets made in honor of Jarrett ....sell them.....ppl will ask....I PROMISE YOU!!!!!!! Put all of Jarrett\'s Law info on the bracelet...get the public fired up and on board.....hugs my friend....I pray for you....
I spun for the first year after losing my son. I am going on 3 this August and have slowed down a bit. Please take care of yourself my friend and I love the donation of the car seats love to you
My younger son had a very rough year after losing his bug brother my time you want to chat just send me a message
There is nothing wrong with you. It\'s my opinion you need to let yourself rest and when you rest your emotions will come to the fore front. I don\'t thing it is good to do too much this early in grieving. As everyone here says -- be gentle with yourself. Sending love to you Jarrett and Johnny, Terry
Oh my dear ~
You are putting WAY too many demands on yourself and you are accomplishing an amazing amount of good with all of your activities. Being numb is part of the first year big time. It gives your psyche a bit of a respite before the next onslaught of pain. What you are feeling is so very perfectly normal ~ please just remember to be kind to yourself.
At Corrie\'s memorial celebration a week after she was killed, there were many there who turned to me for support ~ grabbing me and sobbing and obviously wondering why I wasn\'t doing the same ~ as I stood apparently calm, dry eyed and zombie like! Then two months later we attended a service for her at Northwestern U. where she would have been entering her senior year. Many remarked how \"well\" everyone in our family were all doing as they collapsed in our arms. Again ~ still numb.
I even remember a few times in the first month thinking \"okay ~ I\'m going to feel very very very sad for awhile and then everything will be normal again.\" NOT! And also feeling that I was doing okay, even well, that maybe the worst was over, only to find that the next minute or next day I was once again feeling the sadness and in the depths of despair.
We are here for you ~ I hope you can take a few moments of respite from tonight\'s concert but please don\'t be hard on yourself if you don\'t enjoy it the way your friends will. How could you?
Your active role in turning your personal tragedy into a blessing for others is inspiring!
Sending much love to you and your precious family ~ Debbie
Here\'s hoping you will take care of you....You have done so much and will accomplish so much against Drinking/Driving....You also may be numb as Debbie said that is part of the trying to deal with the loss of our children...there is no way I could do what you have done in this short time....Please do take care of you.....Jon needs you ....as hard as it all is...it is weird to feel we are needed but we are...Take care of you, Sending you s some love and strength your way...Sandi
I think there are many ups and downs with this journey. I think that sometimes we become numb and do not cry...other times the tears will not stop. It does not surprise me about your other son...WE have trouble knowing how to be with this loss...just imagine to be young...with less coping skills. I am sure the counselor will have things to offer that will help him cope. Do what you feel comfortable doing...your friends can go to the concert without you...love and hugs...Karen