WHAT'S THE POINT OF IT ALL ?????
What the Heck is the Point of it ALL ????
What I mean is WHY is it that Fate Plays such CRUEL Games with Our Lives ? At least with Mine it seems this Way.
Every Single Time I THINK that I've Finally found True Happiness it's at that Moment that it's SUDDENLY RIPPED FROM MY HANDS, AND MY HEART IS RIPPED FROM MY CHEST !!
I just Recently finally got Rid of an Abusive Boyfriend, and I've been dealing with that fairly well. BUT, the thing is I THOUGHT that I had a Potential " Other " Boyfriend " Waiting in the Wings ", so to speak. It was Someone that I have known for Years now, but We never met in Person. Despite never meeting in Person, I thought We Shared something Very Special. I thought that He Truly Loved Me, and Wanted Very Much to Be With Me. He never really came out and said otherwise... in fact, He always proclaimed His Love for Me whenever We spoke on the Phone. So What else was I supposed to think ???? He's always known where My Feelings stand for Him. At least He should have known that from the Many times I've told Him how I feel.
I should explain One Key Thing about Him before I go any further. He Lives in Maine, and I Live here in Florida. Granted, I understand that " Long Distance Relationships " are generally difficult as a Rule. But still, I thought We had a chance despite the Odds. He talked about wanting to " Be With Me ", many times so I thought He meant that He would be willing, and happy, to move down here to be with Me.
BUT... Today, after about 3 - 4 Months of " Sudden Silence " from Him, He Calls Me this Morning and explains what's going on.
It turns out that the so-called " Reason " for His Silence was because He " Thought " that doing that was the " Best Way " to get Me to Understand that He's NOT GOING TO EVER MOVE DOWN HERE TO FLORIDA ! His Words weren't quite like that... He said something more like.. " My Chances of Moving Down there are from ' SLIM TO NONE ' !
It still translated to the Same Thing... " MY DREAM " IS OVER ! HE RIPPED MY HEART FRO M MY CHEST, AND STOMPED ON IT TILL THERE WAS NOTHING LEFT BUT ' DUST ' !!!!!
I feel like My WORLD has been TURNED UPSIDE DOWN, AND I CAN'T WAKE UP FROM THIS ' LIVING NIGHTMARE ' !!!! GOD PLEASE HELP ME WAKE UP FROM THIS HELLISH NIGHTMARE !!!!
He was Very Nice on the Phone with Me this Morning, but NOTHING He said could Stop the Tears from Flowing down My Face !
He said that WE could Still be ' FRIENDS ', BUT THAT'S ALL THAT WE WOULD BE...
' JUST FRIENDS ' !!!!!
I tried My Best to explain to Him to PLEASE NOT expect Me to STOP Loving Him, because that just WON'T HAPPEN ! He said that He understood that, and when I asked Him IF He would STOP Loving Me, He said " NO ". He said that No Matter WHO I was With, or Even IF I got Married One Day... He would STILL LOVE THE PERSON I AM.
While that's " SWEET ", and all.. it wasn't quite what I was HOPING to Hear from Him.
I'm sure You can Understand.
SO... WHAT THE HECK DO I DO NOW ????
SURE I KNOW THAT ' LIFE GOES ON '... AND SO ON... BLAH ! BLAH ! BLAH !...
BUT THAT DOESN'T MAKE MY HEART HURT ANY LESS...
THAT DOESN'T MAKE ME WANT ALL OF THIS TO ' END '... ANY LESS...
I don't Understand WHY God would Bring TWO People Together - ( well Together Online, and on the Phone anyways ) - Just to NEVER have it Progress to the Logical Conclusion... " Being Together ". !!!! WHY ? WHY would God do that ? OR Was I Wrong ALL THIS TIME ??? I Always thought that God had Brought Him into My Life.... BUT What's the Point of Bringing Someone into My Life only to Suddenly Tell Me ONE DAY that I can NEVER HOLD HIM... I CAN NEVER LOOK DIRECTLY INTO HIS EYES TO TELL HIM HOW MUCH I LOVE HIM.. I CAN NEVER FEEL HIS ARMS AROUND ME... I CAN NEVER LAUGH WITH HIM WHILE WE WATCH A FUNNY MOVIE TOGETHER... I CAN NEVER PLAY A SIMPLE BOARD GAME WITH HIM, OR PLAY A VIDEO GAME WITH HIM - LIKE XBOX 360.... NONE OF THAT... I CAN NEVER SHARE ' LIFE ' WITH HIM THE WAY THAT I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO... !!!!!
WHY BE SO CRUEL ?????? JUST DANGLE SOMETHING I'VE ALWAYS WANTED RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME... JUST TO YANK IT FROM MY LIFE SUDDENLY... AND TELL ME THAT MY DREAM CAN NEVER BE !!!!! WHY ??????
I CAN'T UNDERSTAND THIS... I DON'T WANT TO UNDERSTAND THIS !!!!
I DON'T WANT TO LIVE WITH THIS... IT HURTS TOO DAMN MUCH !!!!!
What I mean is WHY is it that Fate Plays such CRUEL Games with Our Lives ? At least with Mine it seems this Way.
Every Single Time I THINK that I've Finally found True Happiness it's at that Moment that it's SUDDENLY RIPPED FROM MY HANDS, AND MY HEART IS RIPPED FROM MY CHEST !!
I just Recently finally got Rid of an Abusive Boyfriend, and I've been dealing with that fairly well. BUT, the thing is I THOUGHT that I had a Potential " Other " Boyfriend " Waiting in the Wings ", so to speak. It was Someone that I have known for Years now, but We never met in Person. Despite never meeting in Person, I thought We Shared something Very Special. I thought that He Truly Loved Me, and Wanted Very Much to Be With Me. He never really came out and said otherwise... in fact, He always proclaimed His Love for Me whenever We spoke on the Phone. So What else was I supposed to think ???? He's always known where My Feelings stand for Him. At least He should have known that from the Many times I've told Him how I feel.
I should explain One Key Thing about Him before I go any further. He Lives in Maine, and I Live here in Florida. Granted, I understand that " Long Distance Relationships " are generally difficult as a Rule. But still, I thought We had a chance despite the Odds. He talked about wanting to " Be With Me ", many times so I thought He meant that He would be willing, and happy, to move down here to be with Me.
BUT... Today, after about 3 - 4 Months of " Sudden Silence " from Him, He Calls Me this Morning and explains what's going on.
It turns out that the so-called " Reason " for His Silence was because He " Thought " that doing that was the " Best Way " to get Me to Understand that He's NOT GOING TO EVER MOVE DOWN HERE TO FLORIDA ! His Words weren't quite like that... He said something more like.. " My Chances of Moving Down there are from ' SLIM TO NONE ' !
It still translated to the Same Thing... " MY DREAM " IS OVER ! HE RIPPED MY HEART FRO M MY CHEST, AND STOMPED ON IT TILL THERE WAS NOTHING LEFT BUT ' DUST ' !!!!!
I feel like My WORLD has been TURNED UPSIDE DOWN, AND I CAN'T WAKE UP FROM THIS ' LIVING NIGHTMARE ' !!!! GOD PLEASE HELP ME WAKE UP FROM THIS HELLISH NIGHTMARE !!!!
He was Very Nice on the Phone with Me this Morning, but NOTHING He said could Stop the Tears from Flowing down My Face !
He said that WE could Still be ' FRIENDS ', BUT THAT'S ALL THAT WE WOULD BE...
' JUST FRIENDS ' !!!!!
I tried My Best to explain to Him to PLEASE NOT expect Me to STOP Loving Him, because that just WON'T HAPPEN ! He said that He understood that, and when I asked Him IF He would STOP Loving Me, He said " NO ". He said that No Matter WHO I was With, or Even IF I got Married One Day... He would STILL LOVE THE PERSON I AM.
While that's " SWEET ", and all.. it wasn't quite what I was HOPING to Hear from Him.
I'm sure You can Understand.
SO... WHAT THE HECK DO I DO NOW ????
SURE I KNOW THAT ' LIFE GOES ON '... AND SO ON... BLAH ! BLAH ! BLAH !...
BUT THAT DOESN'T MAKE MY HEART HURT ANY LESS...
THAT DOESN'T MAKE ME WANT ALL OF THIS TO ' END '... ANY LESS...
I don't Understand WHY God would Bring TWO People Together - ( well Together Online, and on the Phone anyways ) - Just to NEVER have it Progress to the Logical Conclusion... " Being Together ". !!!! WHY ? WHY would God do that ? OR Was I Wrong ALL THIS TIME ??? I Always thought that God had Brought Him into My Life.... BUT What's the Point of Bringing Someone into My Life only to Suddenly Tell Me ONE DAY that I can NEVER HOLD HIM... I CAN NEVER LOOK DIRECTLY INTO HIS EYES TO TELL HIM HOW MUCH I LOVE HIM.. I CAN NEVER FEEL HIS ARMS AROUND ME... I CAN NEVER LAUGH WITH HIM WHILE WE WATCH A FUNNY MOVIE TOGETHER... I CAN NEVER PLAY A SIMPLE BOARD GAME WITH HIM, OR PLAY A VIDEO GAME WITH HIM - LIKE XBOX 360.... NONE OF THAT... I CAN NEVER SHARE ' LIFE ' WITH HIM THE WAY THAT I HAVE ALWAYS WANTED TO... !!!!!
WHY BE SO CRUEL ?????? JUST DANGLE SOMETHING I'VE ALWAYS WANTED RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME... JUST TO YANK IT FROM MY LIFE SUDDENLY... AND TELL ME THAT MY DREAM CAN NEVER BE !!!!! WHY ??????
I CAN'T UNDERSTAND THIS... I DON'T WANT TO UNDERSTAND THIS !!!!
I DON'T WANT TO LIVE WITH THIS... IT HURTS TOO DAMN MUCH !!!!!
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