What's the •

So Hey DS family! Just had hand surgery today came out of anesthesia very emotional, crying there was a really lovely nurse who actually listened. I don't even know why I was crying. I think I might have been crying because I woke the fuck up from the surgery. I was hoping I didn't even wake up!  That's how fuckin miserable I am and this relationship I'm in with my so called husband. I'm so fucked up. I've even given my consent to do things without me, to find a side piece, to do so many things by himself, but yet he still wants me to be there, but yet he makes comments like ooh your depression rubs off on me sometimes or I'm so tired of hearing about how depressed you are or you say mean things to me and not always so pleasant to be around. So he basically just wants the Melissa I used to be before depression really kicked in and went into over drive. Now it seems like he can't really handle it and then he will make comments like, "why do you think I stick it out because I know that you're not well?" I said don't stick it out just fuckin go. Move on, live the happy life you deserve. So he doesn't have to deal with this shit anymore because I don't even wanna deal with this shit anymore. But he doesn't listen. Loyalty is also his biggest flaw just like it is mine. Anyway, just felt like journaling my thoughts. Just feeling very emotional, upset, just don't give a fuck today. Just another day in paradise. (sarcasm) Have a gr8 one everyone!! Many hugs!! Mel