What now

Sitting in my house wondering? Am I ever going to change. Like for real........ My hubby has left on the belief that I would change and things would get better. In reality it is as if I have failed. All thoughts and feelings etc just are not as where they should be. Feeling scared. Feeling like I am treading back to old ways. That not what I want to do. I came so far. I got so far because of who saved me. Jesus. I cry out to You my Lord. I cry out to You to please save me once again. Help me get my focus back on You.  Lord help me to see my faults. And to make time with You.