What next...
As if things arn't hard enough at the moment. This morning I was woken up by my Brother telling me to get dressed because they were calling an ambulance for my Nan and she's had a stroke.My Mum and Brother are at the hospital now. Had a call from my Mum saying that they are waiting for the doctors to assess her but I suppose a bit of good news is, she's argued all the way that she doesn't need to be there and she's lying about what she can and can't do for herself. My Mum thinks that she's probably had a series of mini strokes (she's had some falls previous to this) so she hasn't had a full blown stroke yet, which is good because hopefully she'll get treatment now. She's so stubborn and up to now has refused to see a doctor, use a walking stick or a frame even though she clearly needs one. At least now she has no choice about having treatment.I'm still shaky from hearing the news. I feel bad that I couldn't bring myself to go to the hospital but I just don't think I could handle it at the moment. My Mum was fine with it though and said she would rather me stay at home and be on the end of a phone, than go and her be worried about me there.It leaves me wondering though...what next? What else is this shitty life going to throw at me? I feel like all these things are to provoke me. Lifes way of saying "Go on then, kill yourself. Get it over with, you know you want to! Still not enough to do it? Here, then deal with this!"
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