What now?

I'm feeling a little, well alot down at the min, seems to be increasing by the day. I am sorry, I hate writting negative and downer entries, but I just feel so lost and alone right now. After my time in hospital I rejoined he real world, first at home with my family which I found a bit unfulfilling, but as I knew it was only for a short time before I moved back to uni it was ok. I moved bak to uni in Septeber where I live in a flat with two friends. Everything was really novelty at first, it was hard to adjust to things without my old harmful coping mechanisms, but it was still all novelty, I could imagine having my life back! I went away to Thailand on my own and it was amazing, I met loads of people but even there I couldn't help but feel like no one really liked me, and as the trip came to an end I couldn't help but ask the question, what do I have to go back for?My friends at uni all have boyfriends, at home all my friends have partners and children, no one (appart from people who clearly just want to take me for a ride) is interested in me. I am having real trouble writting my dissertation, I can't even seem to get part time job. I just feel so alone and useless. I know I need to not let these negative thoughts get to me, and that all that matters is my health, everything else will come in time. But I wonder if maybe I have had my happiness. Sorry for the negativness everyone!