What is wrong with people nowadays?
One thing that always creeps me out is when an adult say, someone in their mid 20s or older is having private conversations with a young girl, like 13 to 17 years old, online. They’ll try to justify it by saying, “Oh, it’s innocent, we’re just talking as friends.” But here’s my take: if someone under 18 is constantly chatting in private with an adult, that adult better be a relative because if they’re not, it’s just plain weird.
Even if nothing “bad” is happening, it still crosses a line. Why would a grown adult want to consistently talk to a 15-year-old? What could you possibly have in common? I’m 29, and even talking to someone who’s 19 feels off to me. So the idea of regularly messaging a 15 year old? No way. It just doesn’t sit right, and frankly, it should make anyone uncomfortable.
I used to get into arguments on Discord with guys who were like 24 years old talking to 15 year old girls on voice chat. I’d call them out and be like, “Hey man, why are you talking to a 15 year- ld girl alone on voice chat? You’re 24 what are you doing?” And instead of giving me a real answer, they’d just mock me. I don’t care what anyone says that’s straight-up creepy.
I don't care what anybody thinks that's not normal. Even if the conversation is not even bad.
Why would you want to talk to someone who's 15 that's not related to you at your age?
Replies
The only people I ever see trying to defend this kind of behavior are other guys. I’ve never seen a woman over the age of 20 disagree with me on this. Like, sure it’s fine to give a kid some advice or help them out in a specific situation. But forming a full blown friendship with them? That’s straight up weird.
teacher here....I agree with you and would go on to say why would a 15yr old want to talk to someone much older than themselves and would their parents allow it if they know'? too many adults are porn and pedophile friendly.....so just leave the kids alone....I see young kids here asking me to be their friend and I deny it...I even considered you as too young for me....I am 67....what do we have in common?
@billwfriend it’s funny you say that, because every time we hear about kids getting groomed online, all the focus is on the predators which is important but no one ever talks about the other side of it: why does a kid around the age of 8 to 12 year. old even have a smartphone with unlimited internet access in the first place?
People are quick to blame social media platforms and online predators, but they rarely call out the parents who hand their 8, 9, or 10 year old kid a phone with no supervision, no limits, nothing. That’s just reckless.
I’ve got over 20 nieces and nephews, and so many of them had smartphones before they even turned nine. It’s wild. Honestly, I agree this might be the worst generation when it comes to responsible parenting. People just throw a phone at their kid to keep them quiet, and then act surprised when something goes wrong.
I understand what you mean. I had a lot of guys like that when I was close to that age. I always used to think it must mean that I was really cool,mature, down to earth, etc. Now as an adult I look back on it and it kinda makes me sick in the pit of my stomach.
des10ed2b yeah this is kind of why I support making social media the age of 18 and up
But that’s the problem people say “let's get rid of the predators", and while that’s true in theory, Buy predators aren’t going to leave anyone alone. They are produced by the second, You lock one up, and there's 15 more just like them waiting to take their place. That’s what makes them predators.
And honestly, kids shouldn’t even be on social media in the first place. I really believe that no one under 16 should be allowed on these platforms. That might sound harsh to some, but if you look at the data especially the rise in teen suicide rates since around 2008 it’s hard to deny the damage being done. Giving young, developing minds full access to the internet and social media is like handing them a loaded weapon without any guidance
I agree that the age limit is too young for kids
They believe that they're mature and know soooo much when really they're just ripe for predatory behaviour
Kids that don't have a healthy home life are so easy for these personalities
I've talked to a pedophile before with my work and he truly believes he loved children
He talked like he was a sweet and kind man who just happened to be into 7 year old's
People need to be aware ...Electronics can be great but there's definetly a dark side sadly...xo
what is wrong with people nowadays? which people? i have yet to meet two sick people of any age who suffer exactly the same malady.
i find people far easier to understand when i take them one at a time.
I can’t speak for men but seems like most of them are always of the mindset the younger the better. Predatory, control, wanting to be idolized, think they can manipulate younger, feeds their ego is my take anyway. I grew up with AOL and chat rooms. I was shy and we moved a lot so I didn’t have long term friends and I started to like boys in middle school. so these chat rooms were like this escape and this other world to explore. Most people on there probably lied about their age. Into high school I remember talking to a guy that was like 9 years older and yea it never dawned on me it was inappropriate probably because my family sucked and I was desperate for attention. And I always felt ugly so you get a cute, older guy giving you attention. You just reminded me about a time I did go out on a date with guy when I was 16 and he was 20 and my mom didn’t stop me, did she know? Can’t remember. Now looking back the first time I met him he gave me a business card he made with just his name and phone number and I cringe now. I think about that I’m like what a loser trying to date high school girls. Lol.
Though in other countries and back in the day in the US it’s acceptable for 16 year old girls to be married off to an older man.
But large gaps in age you have nothing in common especially when one is young, they really are figuring out whom they are, so it’s like ew just leave them alone to be with their peers.
And speaking from experience I don’t recommend dating someone much older than yourself at any age.
I can see where you are coming from. I agree that conversations between adults and kids should always stay within healthy boundaries, and in this case, it's the adult who should be aware of boundaries and hold to them.
At the same time, I don't think It's always creepy. It depends on the context, of course. If a man in his 40s chats with a 15 years old girl, it's different from a situation when a woman in her 40s chats with a young girl. I don't want to be sexist here right now - I'm just trying to say that context matters, and most creeps online are men. Therefore, I'd be more careful in the first scenario mentioned than in the second one.
But first and foremost, context matters. Some adults genuinely enjoy talking to young people. It can be refreshing and funny. It can help them discover new perspectives and opinions, understand how young people think, and at the same time, the young person can learn from the adult.
And of course, the specifics matter too. Is the young person 13-years old kid or 17 years old teen, almost an adult? Is the adult 20 or 50? Why do they two communicate between themselves? What are the topics they discuss?
I'm all for protection of minors. At the same time, I don't think that every online communication between adult and kid online is inappropiate. It's important for the adult to not cross boundaries and warn the kid if they cross them. One of those boundaries is, for example- no talking about adult topics the child is not able to handle yet.
That is my take on it. However, just as you, I'm always suspicious when an adult who has a job and (sometimes) family chats with a child. Why would they? However, not every communication is automatically inappropiate. As I've already said, context matters, and every case should be judged individually.
And regarding internet use, I agree that there has to be limits, and that young kids should be banned from social media.
However, I also have to say that my opinion is that simpl banning social media for kids is not a solution. I know it would be quick and easy, but besides that such bans could be easily broken, simple bans and limits are not a solution.
Parents, teachers and society and general should focus on;
1. Building loving, trusting relationships with kids. Often, kids who are groomed are lonely, they feel unheard and unseen by adults in their lives and compensate these unmet needs by talking to strangers. Open, honest communication between adults and kids, building trust so that the child is not afraid to tell the adult if something is wrong, or someone hurts them is crucial. And first and foremost, the child needs to feel uncoditionally loved and supported.
2. Teaching kids about boundaries, teaching them to say no. Besides education about internet safety (which is totally important and I wholeheartedly support it), children need to be taught from a young age to say no, to recognise their boundaries and be able to defend them. You can teach a kid internet safety rules, but if they are taught from a young age that they must obey adults without question, that saying no will be punished, that their feelings and boundaries are not important, online predators will manipulate them super easily. Adults need to teach kids not only by telling them that they have a right to say no, but by respecting their feelings and bodily autonomy, respecting children's "no" whenever it is possible.