what is truth, what is love?
What is a relationship? How much can you trust. How much trust should someone demand from another? How much trust is someone capable of giving? All of those questions trouble me, task me for the answers to those questions are as diverse as all the people of the world. There is no one way to define what a relationship is. I refuse to accept the experts predefined notions of what is a "good" relationship for nothing can be so carelessly classfied when the majority of experts themseleves have their own montsters to slay, their own issues to deal with. So what is a good relationship? I think that for me, that which makes you happy, gives to you without taking back more than you get from it. That might mean that strange things happen that defy your ability to understand, but when they pass, the world smiles at you again. Even your closest can be completely clueless sometimes when it comes to seeing how their actions make someone die a little inside. I tried to write a life changing email. The first time, the power failed. The second time, when I was ready to hit the send button, that one IE window locked up so bad, I had to reboot. I had three other windows and they were completely normal. But it was that one window the one with the life changing email that would not work. Thank God those emails never got sent. Then, an old friend called me I had not heard from for quite a while. His divorce had finalized and the woman he had been dating for a couple of years was finally his wife. They had had some challenges and split up for a while. He told me: "larry, one thing I have learned in all of this is you have to be flexible. Realize that, even if you think that something is absolute and crystal clear, it may be seen by the love of your life in a completely oppossite manner. They may not even think it worth mentioning, but when you find out, it changes your life. Be flexible for once we reach this age, we forget just how entrenched we get in our ways" What a wonderfully true statement. I will be flexible for I seek that perfect moment, that sweetest embrace. If I am not flexible enough to be ready for it, to stick around for it, I might never know just how great "great" can be. I am in love, and that is path I cannot easily move off of. But it might suddenly change direction, present obstacles. I will be ready to be flexible and change what I must, and bend as a reed when that fits Larry
Replies
Well, very profound. I do think for the most part you are correct. At any age, we must be willing to bend, to give, to accept. However, there are absolutes in every relationship. Each of us has something we cannot compromise. Something that if we were to give in or up, would alter us in a way that would be permanently damaging. Life is full of boundaries that we set. Yes, we must be willing to define them and our reasons for them, clearly. We must also have the strength to walk away when our very core will be damaged.
I agree with Becky. Don\'t compromise who you are and what you hold dear for anyone. If they can\'t accept you and love you as you are, then you don\'t need to be with them. I know how hard this is. I am there right now and it hurts like crazy....and I am alone too. This person couldn\'t accept me like I am and I am not willing to let go of the things that I think are important in life. I think Dr. Phil calls them the \"deal breakers\" ...LOL. You are a wonderful person and God will give you someone who will love you for who you are. Don\'t settle for less my friend. Don\'t settle!