What is normal?

Today is the first without a babysitter.  This weekend I had some very bad thoughts and came close to putting an end to this worthless piece of wasted time and space. The only thought was how my kids would be affected.
Finally, on Monday I went to see the Doctor.  He is not that easy to talk too either.  Tuesday I had an appointment with Head Doc, as we started talking it was like she had a mirror in my life.  She told me to come on this site and check it out.  Next appointment.....next Tuesday.
One day I hope the dark clouds will subside and I will finally get to see the sun.