What is next?

Well now not only do I have pneumonia, which my dr did not want to step on my pulmonologist toes, I also have a kidney infection. Problem with that is I only have 1 kidney.  And my kidney hurts even though I am now in antibiotics. He took me off my bp med because it was low, swelling was gone but is now back. Can only take 1 water pill a day. I AM SO SICK OF BEING SICK!!!

Now we have this pandemic and I am at major risk. Luckily Joey  found free daycare so I was only out there 2 nights and 1 day. Brooke is out of control and Nikki just laughs. Joey is being a great daddy. Also found out Nikki is drinking again. This friend of theirs meets her as soon as she gets home and pours her a drink. My ex was a major alcoholic and he played major mind games with Joey. He hates drinking. He will have a beer or 2 when at a family gathering or party but that is it. Logan is beside himself as he saw her in october on the kitchen floor near death literally  and is afraid it will happen again. He asked me to tell his daddy he needs to talk to him privately. So when I went to get in the car to get home I couldnt open the door as there was no handle. Asked Joe and he said with total disgust that she broke it off because she was drunk as a skunk. I said well isnt that just nice. Since we are on the subject Logan asked me to tell he needs to talk to you. He goes just what is on Logan's mind.  I told him about Larry coming over everyday and giving her at least 1 drink and that Nikki wants the kids to call him Uncle which Logan  does not like at all. He said he would on friday when she was at work. He works 4 10s. Then I had to ask him what his problem is NOW with his brother that he doesn't speak to. He just goes he is number 1 son. I told him you are 30 years old and a father, grow up.. asked him do you love logan the same as josh. Well no they are 2 different boys.BINGO I said. Jono is my first born so yes that is special and you are my baby which is special also. Plus you each are different and I love you each for who you are and am proud of both of you. I do NOT  love 1 of you more than the other. So get over it all ready. I said babysitting by me is first come is who gets me. Plus you guys pretty much just dumped me without a word. How do you think that feels after 9 years of babysitting every week. No answer and subject was changed by him. I feel so bad for him and the kids. I know he is playing her until he finishes remodeling the house. Once that is done and one of their trucks is fixed it will be divorce time if he can hang on that long. I am hoping he is writing down her drinking episodes, her fighting with him, how she slave drives the kids, etc. 

Once we got myself out of the car he turned the cart around for me and pushed it up the little incline. Then gave me a huge hug and said mom I love you! Told him love you to my baby.  Just wish he would call and check in. Jono does at least once a week. Joey very very rarely. But I love them both in fact if it were not for them I would have taken all my pills and gotten rid of my pain. But their pictures stopped me.

Rant 3 over