What Is It With People and My Home
So, have you given any thought to moving to a smaller place... It's as if when I became a widow, I also became a doddering old wreck. I have been asked this question far too often.
Oh there are such nice apartments for seniors out there, so and so moved into one after Joe died and it's really nice... The people who are saying this are usually single/never marrieds, ten years or more older than me, AND STILL LIVING IN THEIR OWN HOMES. What the heck? When I tell them, no, I'm going to stay where I am until they either kick me out or carry me out, they look at me like I'm only kidding myself. I want to stay where it's comfortable and familiar. Why should I automatically have to go somewhere strange now that my husband has passed?
But it's such a big house, too much to take care of for just you... They don't give up. I'm not feeble yet and I'm not ready to go banging my head off the four walls of a tiny apartment. What if I felt like running around indoors at 11 PM? I usually don't, but if I did, I'd want the space and the privacy to do it.
Your husband is dead, you're helpless... Some woman in the local store parking lot saw I had two 40 pound bags of conditioner salt in my cart, and didn't ask, but told me she would put them in the trunk for me. She called me dear. What? Yes I'm chunky, and eat junk food now and then, but I can still lift 40 damn pounds. How the heck do you think those bags got in the cart?
My son keeps bugging me to start packing things up. Why? It's my house and it's paid off. Why would I go somewhere else and pay rent? He's convinced the house is falling apart. He's never owned a home, but he just bought one. I can't wait, all houses have issues, I tried to tell him that. He thinks it's not going to happen to him. Ha.
This stuff started right after the funeral and hasn't let up almost a year and a half later. Yes I'm sad, but I'm not a candidate for the nursing home or the psych ward. I took care of things before my husband died and I can do it now. Why is it anyone's business anyway? There should be an angry emoticon too, a purple one.
Oh there are such nice apartments for seniors out there, so and so moved into one after Joe died and it's really nice... The people who are saying this are usually single/never marrieds, ten years or more older than me, AND STILL LIVING IN THEIR OWN HOMES. What the heck? When I tell them, no, I'm going to stay where I am until they either kick me out or carry me out, they look at me like I'm only kidding myself. I want to stay where it's comfortable and familiar. Why should I automatically have to go somewhere strange now that my husband has passed?
But it's such a big house, too much to take care of for just you... They don't give up. I'm not feeble yet and I'm not ready to go banging my head off the four walls of a tiny apartment. What if I felt like running around indoors at 11 PM? I usually don't, but if I did, I'd want the space and the privacy to do it.
Your husband is dead, you're helpless... Some woman in the local store parking lot saw I had two 40 pound bags of conditioner salt in my cart, and didn't ask, but told me she would put them in the trunk for me. She called me dear. What? Yes I'm chunky, and eat junk food now and then, but I can still lift 40 damn pounds. How the heck do you think those bags got in the cart?
My son keeps bugging me to start packing things up. Why? It's my house and it's paid off. Why would I go somewhere else and pay rent? He's convinced the house is falling apart. He's never owned a home, but he just bought one. I can't wait, all houses have issues, I tried to tell him that. He thinks it's not going to happen to him. Ha.
This stuff started right after the funeral and hasn't let up almost a year and a half later. Yes I'm sad, but I'm not a candidate for the nursing home or the psych ward. I took care of things before my husband died and I can do it now. Why is it anyone's business anyway? There should be an angry emoticon too, a purple one.
Replies
It\'s your life and your home so you get to decide how long you want to live there. Tune out the suggestions with I\'ve considered my options and change the subject. I was 60 when Don died and so was he. Everyone felt like I needed to be told what to do. Well, they were wrong. I didn\'t choose to be a widow but I certainly could choose how to deal with the events following it. I\'m with you on this. Sharon
Sara, I\'m 67 and I live in the home my husband and I built. It\'s big, but paid for and I\'m happy here. It\'s home for me. I have not had those type of suggestions, but my close friend here, who is very independent and lives in her home, is 75 and my close friend in another state is 69 and she lives in her condo and still works part time and is doing fine. You are FAR from needing to leave. You are still young. Don\'t listen to these ridiculous remarks even if some are well meaning.
I did move but, my situation is much different. We owned a business on street level was the candy store and second floor was our home. When my husband died it left me and two dogs in over 10,000 square feet. It just made sense that I sell and move. I now live in a 1553 foot sq. house and love it. Still having a little work done on it and making it mine. But, I say if your happy where your at then that\'s the place to be. It\'s maddening how people think because our husbands died that they think suddenly we are feeble idiots. I do all I did before he died and much more now. I am woman, I am strong! Hugs, Colleen
Amen. We aren\'t helpless, we are just often sad, listless, and sometimes could use a hug. Thanks Colleen.
You do what\'s right for you when it\'s right for you.
Here\'s some encouragement for you!!
Love
Cindy