What is in the best interest of my Son??????
It's been a little while since my last journal working two jobs during the summer and watching over Austin takes up all my time. I have to learn that it is ok to put myself first sometimes too. I just hate doing that because Austin already has one parent who ONLY AND ALWAYS PUTS HIMSELF FIRST. Which is why i'm journaling tonight in the hopes one of my DS friends reads it and maybe someone can help out.
The last time Austin was with his Dad I was upset because he just picked him up from me and then dropped him off with anyone and everyone he could. That way he could still just go do what he wants to do reguardless if he had Austin or not. So I told him that if he didn't want visitation I could just take him back to court and we could change it.
Now comes this week end visit and Austin was sick when he came home. I don't mean he had a cold or anything like that he was sick with GUILT!!! I know my son and as soon as his Dad left I said " Honey whats wrong you look pale and you have dark circles under your eyes what's up?" He closed his eyes and said " Mommy i'm not supposed to tell you" " You can tell me anything Austin you know that" " Dad might get mad" " TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED." Well first when he picked me up he was on the phone with one of his workers yelling then he threw his cell phone at the window and it scared me. Then after I got out of the shower he was on his home phone and he got so mad he threw his phone at the wall and punched his wall. I was scared mom he was just angry all weekend plus we didn't do anything I had to go to work with him all day saturday and just sit there.
I said Austin sometimes if daddy has to work on a saturday you may have to go with him next time tell him you want to help. As far as the yelling and throwing you know he wasn't angry at you right daddy needs to keep his temper in check when your around. Did you tell him it scared you? No I didn't want to make him more angry. Ok I will talk to him don't worry ok. Then he said that's not all mom. Ok what else he said " Daddy took me to a party at a girls house a friend of his and we had to SPEND THE NIGHT!!!!! The girl had a boyfriend that was a friend of Dad's I met him before" ok I said we had to spend the night because they all were drinking beer or something and no one could DRIVE HOME!!!!!! So I didn't sleep all night because I didn't want to be there I just wanted to come home.
I just hugged him and said " Thank you for being honest Austin do you feel better now?" Yah I just want to go get some sleep now mommy I love you this much he said arms stretched as far as possible. I tucked him in gave him hugs and kisses poured myself a huge glass of wine and picked up that phone any guesses who I called? Nope not him I called my attorney and told him the whole story. I can take him back to court and have his visitation changed to a Supervised Visitation until he can show that he is able to make choices that are in the BEST INTEREST OF AUSTIN ON NOT HIS F$%#$%@%NG SELF!!!!!! Everytime I give him the opportunity to act right he SCREWS UP EVERYTIME.
Is doing that in the best interest of Austin or am I over reacting because i'm still hurting and pissed off. Also this weekend when he picked up Austin I had just come from the pool and for the first time in 23 years I can wear a 2 piece. Total weight loss 78 pounds ya hoo. Feeling good about myself alot more self confidence. Anyway he saw me and said" wow you look soooo good going out for a little action tonight"? I said I don't know maybe why? He said to me " YOU GO GIRL CALL ME LATER AND GIVE ME THE DETAILS???????? What the hell was that? He said " Yah I just want to know that your happy and moving on and maybe you will meet someone and hook up with them AND THAT WOULD MAKE ME HAPPY!!! Someone please explain to me this way of thinking. I told him you are sick get some freaking HELP CREEPER. Now is this the kind of example I want Austin to be around? He is obviously even more sick and discusting than I thought. Call me and give me the details I mean who wants to know the details about other men your wife of 22 years is sleeping with? Does he want me send him pictures too that would probably excite him.
It's just been a long weekend full of disapointment, anger,sadness, pain, and alot of hurt feelings. I don't want my 10 yr old Austin to be out making the party circuit rounds with his dad on saturday nights. Why can't he just do his sleezy shit when he doesn't have him? I mean he only has him 4 days a month and he couldn't put off his party night until he didn't have him. I'm just so upset I don't know what to do???????????
The last time Austin was with his Dad I was upset because he just picked him up from me and then dropped him off with anyone and everyone he could. That way he could still just go do what he wants to do reguardless if he had Austin or not. So I told him that if he didn't want visitation I could just take him back to court and we could change it.
Now comes this week end visit and Austin was sick when he came home. I don't mean he had a cold or anything like that he was sick with GUILT!!! I know my son and as soon as his Dad left I said " Honey whats wrong you look pale and you have dark circles under your eyes what's up?" He closed his eyes and said " Mommy i'm not supposed to tell you" " You can tell me anything Austin you know that" " Dad might get mad" " TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED." Well first when he picked me up he was on the phone with one of his workers yelling then he threw his cell phone at the window and it scared me. Then after I got out of the shower he was on his home phone and he got so mad he threw his phone at the wall and punched his wall. I was scared mom he was just angry all weekend plus we didn't do anything I had to go to work with him all day saturday and just sit there.
I said Austin sometimes if daddy has to work on a saturday you may have to go with him next time tell him you want to help. As far as the yelling and throwing you know he wasn't angry at you right daddy needs to keep his temper in check when your around. Did you tell him it scared you? No I didn't want to make him more angry. Ok I will talk to him don't worry ok. Then he said that's not all mom. Ok what else he said " Daddy took me to a party at a girls house a friend of his and we had to SPEND THE NIGHT!!!!! The girl had a boyfriend that was a friend of Dad's I met him before" ok I said we had to spend the night because they all were drinking beer or something and no one could DRIVE HOME!!!!!! So I didn't sleep all night because I didn't want to be there I just wanted to come home.
I just hugged him and said " Thank you for being honest Austin do you feel better now?" Yah I just want to go get some sleep now mommy I love you this much he said arms stretched as far as possible. I tucked him in gave him hugs and kisses poured myself a huge glass of wine and picked up that phone any guesses who I called? Nope not him I called my attorney and told him the whole story. I can take him back to court and have his visitation changed to a Supervised Visitation until he can show that he is able to make choices that are in the BEST INTEREST OF AUSTIN ON NOT HIS F$%#$%@%NG SELF!!!!!! Everytime I give him the opportunity to act right he SCREWS UP EVERYTIME.
Is doing that in the best interest of Austin or am I over reacting because i'm still hurting and pissed off. Also this weekend when he picked up Austin I had just come from the pool and for the first time in 23 years I can wear a 2 piece. Total weight loss 78 pounds ya hoo. Feeling good about myself alot more self confidence. Anyway he saw me and said" wow you look soooo good going out for a little action tonight"? I said I don't know maybe why? He said to me " YOU GO GIRL CALL ME LATER AND GIVE ME THE DETAILS???????? What the hell was that? He said " Yah I just want to know that your happy and moving on and maybe you will meet someone and hook up with them AND THAT WOULD MAKE ME HAPPY!!! Someone please explain to me this way of thinking. I told him you are sick get some freaking HELP CREEPER. Now is this the kind of example I want Austin to be around? He is obviously even more sick and discusting than I thought. Call me and give me the details I mean who wants to know the details about other men your wife of 22 years is sleeping with? Does he want me send him pictures too that would probably excite him.
It's just been a long weekend full of disapointment, anger,sadness, pain, and alot of hurt feelings. I don't want my 10 yr old Austin to be out making the party circuit rounds with his dad on saturday nights. Why can't he just do his sleezy shit when he doesn't have him? I mean he only has him 4 days a month and he couldn't put off his party night until he didn't have him. I'm just so upset I don't know what to do???????????
Replies
I\'m reading about this as hearsay X2--and by that I mean I\'m hearing you tell a story that was told to you by your son--so I\'m pretty far removed from the actual events that transpired, but if it is factually true that your ex brought his 10 year old son to a party where he got too drunk to drive home and they had to stay overnight at this party house, that is definitely pretty bad and if it can be proven in court, you may very well have his visitation rights adjusted. If this event indeed took place as described, then I don\'t think you\'re overreacting from anger. It is appropriate anger. Everything--and I mean everything--has two sides/perspectives so I\'d want to hear his side of the story too, but thus far it sounds pretty bad.
You hang in there Disneymother. And a mega congrats on the loss of 78lbs. That\'s amazing!
Question: does your EX want these bi-monthly visitations? It doesn\'t sound like he wants them very much.
I\'m glad you called your attorney. Obviously your ex has no clue how to be a parent. Perhaps a dose of supervised visitation will teach him (but I kind of doubt it). Your son is old enough to see the real dad and he will start making his own decisions about his dad. But taking a child to a party is not acceptable. Your ex needs to learn how to plan his lifestyle around child visitation.
Sending hugs.
I\'m proud of you for not unleashing your anger on the stbx, but calling your attorney instead! I\'m also amazed that you were able to reach and speak with your attorney on the weekend. Good for you!
Your anger is righteous. Peter Pan DEFINITELY needs a shot of hard, cold reality. He\'s one sick puppy and the further you stay away from him, the better.