What If? What If? WHAT IF?

I was so proud of myself just for getting up and making it work, I started off pretty good, but then came 1300 about 30 minutes ago.  I guess pain med wore off so now all I feel is pressure in my right ear again and headache.  I forced myself to eat first to see if that would make headache go away (wishful thinking).
I thought after work I would go get a pedicure, something I want to do, but right now I just want to have my ice packs in the dark. Heavy Sigh
I have been what if'ng myself like crazy after reading all the horror stories of this disease.
What if I can't work anymore? How will I pay bills? What about health insurance?
What if I need a brain or LP shunt?
What if this pain never goes away how will I manage?
What if I go blind?
Who is going to take care of me?
I really need God to intervene on this one.  I'm pretty tough and can handle a lot but this is too much! Dear God Help Me Jesus....Now Please!