What I should have said in therapy today, and last week. But it like many other things don't come ou

What I have really been thinking about is the time I went to hospital. I don't mean for my shoulder surgery but before I was sent to my grandfathers when I was 11. Of course all of this really kicked off again for me because of the recent admission. But it's often in my thoughts at the moment and in my dreams.
 
After going to school and getting my friend we walked to the hospital. I was in excruciating pain. I had stayed at their house, my uncles, the night before, perhaps it was longer than one night I'm not really sure now. But when I didn't know what he was asking me to do he used the knife to cut me. From just below my belly button down. So I thought that was causing the pain but it turned out to not be from that. Well not only from that. I didn't understand when he was trying to get me to put a coat hanger inside me. I didn't understand lots of things they did to me but I really didn't get this. So he did it at the same time he cut me. It wasn't until I was at the hospital that I then knew what he had done.