What I learned from this experience....
That I AM stronger than my past...
The difficulties I have had weren't necessarily meant to hurt, but meant to mold and shape me into a better person...
That when you are the only one faced with the truth, it's very hard and can even make you question your worth, but GOD knows and SOMEONE will believe you even when everyone (including yourself) thinks you're a little nutty, so don't question it - YOU ARE IMPORTANT and this experience is showing you inner strength, self worth and self confidence...
And that life isn't meant to be lived alone - by making TRUE friends, you create a network that holds individual gifts to help YOU through your moments of need as well as theirs....
I'm glad I faced this crisis last week... Once I got past the dwelling, I realized that all the things I've experienced were necessary.... still don't know WHY they're necessary, lol, but they were... It was a growth process I've been needing to do a long time now. And now that the dwelling is over and I got a copy of the order for the privacy fence yesterday, I feel like I'm no longer distracted and can move forward again. And that's where the "network" comes in.... you guys here have been INCREDIBLE.... Nancy with the hiking group pointed out where I was giving up parts of myself through this (and nicely told me to STOP IT, lol)... and Dave and Nancy met their partners through dating sites - and while hiking, they gave me tips on what to do WHEN I'm ready (I'm not, lol)... and the laughter it brought in the middle of the peaceful forest was PERFECT!
And things have been SILENT next door (his wife is following him around, lol) and it's NICE. And while I'm still on guard (locking doors and windows every night, etc.), I feel like I'm able to finally relax and enjoy my own space again.
One of those snakes he threw into the yard during one of those incidents got in the house last night through a hole in my foundation (EEEK!)... cats brought it to me (thanks... NOT!).... so I called my son who came and "fixed" it, lol... and he stayed a bit, talked a bit, asked me to help him make a gift for my granddaughter.... You know, I haven't had a moment like that with him since he was little - and I mean REALLY little (like 4). I'm SO BLESSED to have my son back! And isn't just a miracle that if I hadn't had the neighbor issues, hadn't had the snake get in, I wouldn't have had that moment!
And so sunflowers have gone full this week (still facing him, lol) and I'm watching for the time to cut them to dry seeds for next year. And I realized with the money coming in, I can afford to do some new landscaping next year... I'm thinking tall sunflowers and trellises along the east side of my deck (will block his view of my door and mock him again, lol)... tear out the old deck and replace it with a sleek stamped concrete one (so I won't have snakes next year), and I think I've found a place for a tree that will make my entire yard more private.
And I'm getting the hang of gardening... my first time pumpkin patch has taken over the yard and I now have 16 pumpkins! And I plan to let my son, daughter-in-law and granddaughter have first pick (Paige's first pumpkin picking!). One of my FAVORITE things to do when my son was little.
So, sorry about the rambling.... just want you guys to know... THANKS. Life is GOOD. :) LATER!
The difficulties I have had weren't necessarily meant to hurt, but meant to mold and shape me into a better person...
That when you are the only one faced with the truth, it's very hard and can even make you question your worth, but GOD knows and SOMEONE will believe you even when everyone (including yourself) thinks you're a little nutty, so don't question it - YOU ARE IMPORTANT and this experience is showing you inner strength, self worth and self confidence...
And that life isn't meant to be lived alone - by making TRUE friends, you create a network that holds individual gifts to help YOU through your moments of need as well as theirs....
I'm glad I faced this crisis last week... Once I got past the dwelling, I realized that all the things I've experienced were necessary.... still don't know WHY they're necessary, lol, but they were... It was a growth process I've been needing to do a long time now. And now that the dwelling is over and I got a copy of the order for the privacy fence yesterday, I feel like I'm no longer distracted and can move forward again. And that's where the "network" comes in.... you guys here have been INCREDIBLE.... Nancy with the hiking group pointed out where I was giving up parts of myself through this (and nicely told me to STOP IT, lol)... and Dave and Nancy met their partners through dating sites - and while hiking, they gave me tips on what to do WHEN I'm ready (I'm not, lol)... and the laughter it brought in the middle of the peaceful forest was PERFECT!
And things have been SILENT next door (his wife is following him around, lol) and it's NICE. And while I'm still on guard (locking doors and windows every night, etc.), I feel like I'm able to finally relax and enjoy my own space again.
One of those snakes he threw into the yard during one of those incidents got in the house last night through a hole in my foundation (EEEK!)... cats brought it to me (thanks... NOT!).... so I called my son who came and "fixed" it, lol... and he stayed a bit, talked a bit, asked me to help him make a gift for my granddaughter.... You know, I haven't had a moment like that with him since he was little - and I mean REALLY little (like 4). I'm SO BLESSED to have my son back! And isn't just a miracle that if I hadn't had the neighbor issues, hadn't had the snake get in, I wouldn't have had that moment!
And so sunflowers have gone full this week (still facing him, lol) and I'm watching for the time to cut them to dry seeds for next year. And I realized with the money coming in, I can afford to do some new landscaping next year... I'm thinking tall sunflowers and trellises along the east side of my deck (will block his view of my door and mock him again, lol)... tear out the old deck and replace it with a sleek stamped concrete one (so I won't have snakes next year), and I think I've found a place for a tree that will make my entire yard more private.
And I'm getting the hang of gardening... my first time pumpkin patch has taken over the yard and I now have 16 pumpkins! And I plan to let my son, daughter-in-law and granddaughter have first pick (Paige's first pumpkin picking!). One of my FAVORITE things to do when my son was little.
So, sorry about the rambling.... just want you guys to know... THANKS. Life is GOOD. :) LATER!
Replies
This journal goes back to what I\'ve always believed. That things happen for a reason and lead us to where we are meant to be and the people we need to know.
Your son wants you to help him with a present and you are making such nice plans for your yard. First thing is patching that hole in the foundation. LOL
You life is good right now and can only get better.