What I do not want
I made myself another amazing dinner. Talked to two good friends on the phone.
I don't want to have a beer or a cigarette. I want to just read and write and sleep like a normal person.
I am getting back to ME.
I don't want to have a beer or a cigarette. I want to just read and write and sleep like a normal person.
I am getting back to ME.
Replies
That is so great Amy. I am happy for you . :)
Good to hear! One day at a time is all we can do but I\'m finding I go longer and longer without thinking about the ex. Initially it was ALL i thought about 24 hours a day..so exhausting. 4 months + and it\'s definitely getting better. I am afraid though when I will hear she is seeing someone else, my daughter tells me she isn\'t but that\'s not something she would tell her anyways. I know that day will come but I\'m certainly not asking about it anymore. It used to consume me but I guess that\'s a bridge that will have to be crossed one day.
I hear ya I think not being with my ex makes me not want to drink as much he would make anyone drink and these darn ciggretts ill tell u what ive been smokeing since 14 im 37 now i had ciggretts in the house since surgery but when there gone ive got to quit somehow some way i will find a way i just had a tumor revoved from me and not a small tumor i think that was enough to scare me into quiting here very shortly ... the sleep thing i hear ya its been an issue with me lateley i sometimes have to take one unisom pm just to sleep oh well hopefully it gets better in time hugs :)
Candy, I am hoping you have a good recovery from your surgery and feel better fast. I am chock full of bad addictions, and stress is not helping me.
Sleep is hard for me some nights, and clearly this one is gonna be a mother to fight. But I am going to try. I work hard to make a routine of it and create a comfort zone in my bedroom but lately I toss and turn and carry on a lot.
Coop, you gave me a thought....my stbx keeps talking about the women who are pursuing him and that makes me nuts. As he is telling me he loves me and misses me. Why is he telling me this stuff? And stupid me for even having the damn conversation I guess. I do know that down the road he will be breaking someone else\'s heart, not mine anymore. That is the upside to it all.
At the end i point blank told my ex to quit telling ,me he loved me because hed always say it but his actions really started proveing other wise , i have no contact with mine now im sorry youre ex tells u those things to turn around and say he loves u i know all to well how it hurts golley talk about sleeping habbits
I just posted on the break up group about them but it is getting late so once again im going to try and get some sleep here on my sofa seems thats where ive been since my break up.
Amy that\'s just bizarre. I would really limit contact with him, I know that it sounds so repetitive but telling you these things is just hurting you. Your gonna be stuck in that vicious cycle and you can\'t move forward. If my ex told me that stuff I would be crawling the walls. I can\'t speak why he would be saying that stuff unless he\'s insecure or wants to deliberately hurt you or maybe he\'s just clueless, but whatever it is it isn\'t helping you. I\'m sorry you are going through this, it sounds horrible.
It is a vicious cycle that has gone on for too long. I think on some level he is insecure though he does not outwardly appear that way, and he is also clueless. Time to toughen up here I guess.
Candy - another crap night sleep here and it is taking a toll on me. I ate dinner and got in bed early and then my phone rang and woke me and I could not get back to sleep. Ugh. I hope you had a more restful night than I did.
I thought I was the only one who developed horrible health habits being in a bad relationship lol. Good for you for working on them! I just quit smoking about 3 weeks ago...and feel good! I am drinking too much though and it\'s become a crutch that I need to stop on a regular basis. That is the next thing to work on. You are getting back to YOU..I feel I am too. Isn\'t that a good feeling?
I would limit contact..him telling you these things about other women is just mean. I wouldn\'t be able to handle it. Keep him away if you can until you are healed.
Hey Amy that makes two of us. I average about 3-4 hours of sleep a night. But it sounds like you are working hard at getting back to you which is what it is all about. I often think the you that you were before the whole journey is going to look alot different and stronger. For all of us you know. You dont make it thru a hard spot in life and walk out on the other side the same person.
I did get some decent sleep last night, but it took forever to get there. I got in bed, turned on my little light and set the stage for total comfort. Just as I put the book away and start to doze of the people who live in the apartment underneath me decided to have a very loud argument. He left her months ago and I am all but sure that was his voice. I admit to even laying on the floor to hear what he was saying to her. I wanted to defend her so badly. I cared more about that than my sleep. So I got up and made a little bit of racket to remind them that I am here and can hear them and it finally ended. I hope she\'s ok.
We will indeed all get through this on the other side stronger people with more wisdom. And maybe a better sense of what true love and relationship should be. Thank you all for your support!