I went into the room we have all of Trevor's belongings and I started going through his things, I took his hats, coats clothing and I smelled them, I cried and cried...
I know my friend... I know... Standing alongside of you and witnessing a mother holding onto every ounce of essence of her beloved son.
Heartfelt hugs to you this day and in the days ahead. This is so very painful and hard to do yet you must and you are. Take pauses in the midst to catch your breath.
Perhaps you already know that some of the moms have done some amazing things with their children\'s clothes when they are ready and if they choose to. Quilts have been made, teddy bears, etc. I wish I had known this because after giving away to family and friends a few things I donated my son\'s clothes and wish I had hung onto to a few to have created something lasting. Yet, I didn\'t think and didn\'t know that this was even possible? Deepest of sighs... Take your time with everything and your heart will guide you.
I\'m sending lots of loving understanding and just wish that none of us had to experience this anguish and sorrow. It hurts...
Josh was married, but I asked for one shirt, any shirt, so I could hold it to my face to smell. We moms are so connected to the smell of our children. You are early in your grief and doing this job of going through his things is such a raw one. My heart reaches for yours wishing I could help in some way.
Love ya,
Leda
Smells..a trigger for sure...it is okay. Some times you just need to go there. Other days you know you need to stay away...feel what you feel. I have a sweatshirt of Alex\'s that I wear when I need to feel him...it no longer smells like him...but I \"see\" him when I wear it...love and gentle hugs...Karen
I got a few shirts, a sweater and a dress of Jenns...her husband decided to clean out 2 weeks after she died...so I had to grab quickly...they are in my closet and always will be
It is a step, my friend. One of many. And just take them when you are ready. When I got my son\'s clothes back (he did not live with me), they had all been washed by well meaning people. Little could they have known how I would have wanted to smell them all, no matter how dirty they were! I did get a lock of Michael\'s hair prior to his cremation, but it has long since lost it\'s smell. One of my 1st steps was 4 months after Michael died. My brother was to accompany me to my younger son\'s college graduation. I was not up to flying alone since Michael was supposed to be with me. My brother had no decent shoes, so I gave him Michael\'s shoes. My brother felt he shouldn\'t take them or wear them and I told him that Michael would have wanted him to have them. So, we just do what we do at our own pace and never let anyone tell you that it is time for you to do this or time for you to do that! You will know when you are ready. Hugs Belinda
So sorry. I\'m just catching up on your entries. I\'m so very sorry for your loss. This is such a difficult trial that no mother should face but somehow together we do just that. You will have many many days like today where you cry and cry and one day when you least expect it, you will smile and laugh again. It does happen. Until then, we are all here for you. Continued prayers for comfort and peace. Much love. Robin
Replies
I know my friend... I know... Standing alongside of you and witnessing a mother holding onto every ounce of essence of her beloved son.
Heartfelt hugs to you this day and in the days ahead. This is so very painful and hard to do yet you must and you are. Take pauses in the midst to catch your breath.
Perhaps you already know that some of the moms have done some amazing things with their children\'s clothes when they are ready and if they choose to. Quilts have been made, teddy bears, etc. I wish I had known this because after giving away to family and friends a few things I donated my son\'s clothes and wish I had hung onto to a few to have created something lasting. Yet, I didn\'t think and didn\'t know that this was even possible? Deepest of sighs... Take your time with everything and your heart will guide you.
I\'m sending lots of loving understanding and just wish that none of us had to experience this anguish and sorrow. It hurts...
XO Joanie
been there done that,,..still do that....treasure the things you have of Trevor..
when I see Morgan\'s things,,I am happy I have them....love ya!
Josh was married, but I asked for one shirt, any shirt, so I could hold it to my face to smell. We moms are so connected to the smell of our children. You are early in your grief and doing this job of going through his things is such a raw one. My heart reaches for yours wishing I could help in some way.
Love ya,
Leda
We all do that....hugs and love...it will get eaiser in time...a long time.
Terry
Smells..a trigger for sure...it is okay. Some times you just need to go there. Other days you know you need to stay away...feel what you feel. I have a sweatshirt of Alex\'s that I wear when I need to feel him...it no longer smells like him...but I \"see\" him when I wear it...love and gentle hugs...Karen
It is great you got that far already...This is a hugh part of thre grieving process, Lots of Love through Heart to Heart huggs, Kelly
I got a few shirts, a sweater and a dress of Jenns...her husband decided to clean out 2 weeks after she died...so I had to grab quickly...they are in my closet and always will be
It is a step, my friend. One of many. And just take them when you are ready. When I got my son\'s clothes back (he did not live with me), they had all been washed by well meaning people. Little could they have known how I would have wanted to smell them all, no matter how dirty they were! I did get a lock of Michael\'s hair prior to his cremation, but it has long since lost it\'s smell. One of my 1st steps was 4 months after Michael died. My brother was to accompany me to my younger son\'s college graduation. I was not up to flying alone since Michael was supposed to be with me. My brother had no decent shoes, so I gave him Michael\'s shoes. My brother felt he shouldn\'t take them or wear them and I told him that Michael would have wanted him to have them. So, we just do what we do at our own pace and never let anyone tell you that it is time for you to do this or time for you to do that! You will know when you are ready. Hugs Belinda
So sorry. I\'m just catching up on your entries. I\'m so very sorry for your loss. This is such a difficult trial that no mother should face but somehow together we do just that. You will have many many days like today where you cry and cry and one day when you least expect it, you will smile and laugh again. It does happen. Until then, we are all here for you. Continued prayers for comfort and peace. Much love. Robin