What have I done wrong?
My husband told me yesterday that he would help my friend Krista move today. Well, Krista called me this morning and said that she and her dad have done as much as they can but she pulled her back trying to lift her sectional couch and asked if he would come help. I told her that he had said yesterday that he would. So, I went to wake him up and he started griping at me. He said that he would help when he woke up, not when he WAS woke up. I told him that she just needed a little help and that she already had most of it done. I don't feel good today, my back is hurting really bad, and usually when I don't feel good, I tend to cling to him and want to be held. He knows this. I am so extremely in love with him. So, you can imagine my shock when he told me that he has been mad at me for over a year and that the last year of our marriage has been hell for him. I told him that I go out of my way to keep him from getting upset and he said that I could have fooled him. I understand that I have anxiety disorders and I tend to go to extremes with my worry. I am constantly afraid that he is mad at me even when he says he isn't. I constantly ask him if he is mad at me. He understands that it is my anxiety and that I am OCD too. So, why all of a sudden does he tell me this. I started crying and getting upset and he told me to dry it up and get in the house. What have I done wrong? He says that I don't listen to him. Or rather, he says I listen but I don't hear him. I try my best!! But, I am not perfect no matter how hard I try to be!! I just don't know what to do. I am so scared that I will lose him. I love him so much and I cannot live without him. He is my only true love. My children love their Daddy so much. And, we have always got along great!! We rarely ever argue and when we do it is about money problems or a difference in agreement about discipline or something. But, we never have problems like this. He has never made it sound like he was utterly unhappy with me!! What have I done? Have I screwed up our marriage?? I can't handle this... I will die without him. I'm just so depressed and I don't know what to do....
Replies
Hi there, im sorry to hear that. I have borederline personality an anxiety disorder an i struggle with being overbareing an abandoment issues. I truly am in love with my man and he is my world. I figure When he starts blaming me for my issues, it hass to do with him realy.\' It may not be you it may be that somthing is bothering him an that he dosnt want to face it or that he could be feeling insecure. Its always easier to blame cause it takes attention of your self. Especially if you have mental illness its an easy out for them. I would sugest to him that he needs to talk to someone about what is really bbothering him, cause your not going to take all the heat for a failing marriage cause that just aint fair\' dont let him know that u\'ll die without him either, stand strong. I meen if u allow him to know that you are that vaunerable he can take your power away. even if you feel that way just dont voice it.
he knows you love him im sure. He may not know how to cope with his own issues About what ever, and he may have lost the ablitiy to cope with ur illness..Rember this is not your fault hunny, he married you, and that meens for better or worse. Ask him that if my illness is bothering you or if i dont listen to you would you come see my cousellor to come up with some productive advise?? Explain that his uneasyness with you is creatiung more anxiety an he needs to deal\' if he LOVES you truly. He seems as though hes feeiling out of control of somthing .. like controlling money disapline somthing is a miss there, it seems like its more than that dont be affriad to dig\' he needs to buck up and you help you. dont wait for the shoe to fall go talk to ur couseller so ur ready for anything ..good or bad\'
Hope this helped i dont want to assume :)