What happened? Part One
When I was a kid I dreamed about a happier life....one away from the volatile life at home. Away from the rage, the abuse, and watching my siblings suffer through with me. We lived in a "nice" house and my father was a physician. The flip-side of his uncontrolled rage and anger was a charming doctor, father and neighbor...at least to the world outside our house. They knew nothing of the suicide attempts, the numerous ways we all tried to escape the reality of our situation or the multitude of tranquilizers my mother supplied...I believe it was an attempt to calm us down after a beating, or to treat our anxiety in anticipation of the next one. She was in over her head.
Enough for now. Can't deal with too much of this at once. Just trying to figure out how I ended up where I am now.
Enough for now. Can't deal with too much of this at once. Just trying to figure out how I ended up where I am now.
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I am supporting your efforts to get it all out. I do understand and it is good when you can write it down.
Sometimes it is an exercise in pain but in the end the light shines down and there is no darkness involved.
When the light shines it destroys the darkness and we move forward in joy and a renewed sense of one\'s self.