What Happened?

I am writing to vent and take out my frustrations.  It is not about the urge to visit the casino, it has pretty much disappeared. At this time I have no yearns or wants. I am sure that it will rear its ugly head again but I will deal with it by conning myself. As for smoking, I will NEVER again smoke cigartettes, an occasional cigar maybe....once a year, I can deal with.  The drinking has been reduced to cold beer on hot days, never in excess however.However right now I am wondering what happened? My life has reached a standstill. All the dreams, plans and goals to be successful and live life to its fullest have disappeared. Day in and Day out, the same thing over and over again. The drive to be active in all facets of life has dried up. It seems like nothing works for me. What really irks me is that when I was smoking 3 packs a day, drinking a 12 pack a day or visiting the nearest casino in the early hours of the morning, I was always active, I always made things happen and never gave up. Hell..........I know now that I wasted all those years of my life in a fantasy land, not reality. But, it does not make it easier. As we all know, the older we get, the harder it gets. I am looking for that spark to get me going again, to make things happen again, to have things go my way once again. Oh Well................I said it.  Sincerely

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

Hey my friend......sounds like you are down in the dumps. It is tough for sure, no matter how old we are Casinobogie. And, you know what, \"There ain\'t no u-hauls going to heaven.\" All that really matters is that we are here on this planet for one another, to love one another, to support one another and to help one another. The rest.....is exactly what you said \"a fantasy land\". This is all just a dress rehearsal anyway for what is truly waiting for us. God has good things in store for you my friend. Believe it in your heart and it will be. Roll up them sleeves and get to work on that self-esteem and self improvement. You deserve it! XOXOXOXO :-)
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I can relate with you in some issues. I am an active person and I have been taken off of work for good. I have been the kind of person who would do everything and now I can\'t. So I went through a depression and finally got into doing hobbies. Making something happen in my life. Maybe you could do some wood working? Good luck to you.