What Happened?

I am writing to vent and take out my frustrations.  It is not about the urge to visit the casino, it has pretty much disappeared. At this time I have no yearns or wants. I am sure that it will rear its ugly head again but I will deal with it by conning myself. As for smoking, I will NEVER again smoke cigartettes, an occasional cigar maybe....once a year, I can deal with.  The drinking has been reduced to cold beer on hot days, never in excess however.However right now I am wondering what happened? My life has reached a standstill. All the dreams, plans and goals to be successful and live life to its fullest have disappeared. Day in and Day out, the same thing over and over again. The drive to be active in all facets of life has dried up. It seems like nothing works for me. What really irks me is that when I was smoking 3 packs a day, drinking a 12 pack a day or visiting the nearest casino in the early hours of the morning, I was always active, I always made things happen and never gave up. Hell..........I know now that I wasted all those years of my life in a fantasy land, not reality. But, it does not make it easier. As we all know, the older we get, the harder it gets. I am looking for that spark to get me going again, to make things happen again, to have things go my way once again. Oh Well................I said it.  Sincerely