what do I even say

Haven't been sleeping really well and my mind has been forcing me to relive experiences that I minimized and discounted when they originally happened. It's a product of immersing myself in books and forums I know, but I also know that as painful as it is right nowit is also something i need to do. It occurred to me that iI was carefully chosen as a target, in fact I was the perfect target for him. He knew about my history in my family and how dysfunctional it was. It was the perfect way for him to set me up to believe that I was incompetent at life and everything in it due to my lessons early. He also was there through my difficult experience with troy. He knew I was carrying, naive, and lacked self confidence. In short it wasn't even that difficult for me to be conditioned to accept anything he said or did and he knew this about me. That makes me sad but it also pisses me of royally. Just my morning thought