What did I do?
Well I did it,We got married on September 28 in a small church wedding.I should be so happy but yet I'm not.His x wife who he has custody of granddaughter with is driving me nuts.she calls constantly,wants me and her to be best friends,wants us to move to her town of Oak Ridge TN,45 minutes away. We are living in the trailer that they shared as husband and wife,He loves it cause he can not stand change,he thinks the freaking trailer is great,I don't!!! I want to move atleast 2 hours away because that way she will be out of the picture,he always answers that stupid cell phone and atleast 80 perecent of the time its her.She is married to another man,yet we have no life due to her. I just don't understand him at all,he says he loves me and my kids,goes through the wedding happy,now all he does is sleep,ok.hes not a well ,man,he has no thyroid,he takes 11 medicines a day,he has something on his bladder that has to be checked,so hes tired all the time,why didn't I see any of this\,how can a piece of paper change everything?All we do now is argue,or should I say I argue with a half asleep man.
Then to beat it all, his son was bad mpouthing mine,trying to cost my austic son his would be girlfriend,his son is autistic too but married and the father of our granddaughter.Anyway so I had enough and lit into his son about bad mouthing mine,my son was at his apt,so he had no idea what went on,after I got threw fussing at his son,I sat down and started watching tv,his son comes back out and says if I ever yell at hin again there will be big trouble,so then I really lit into him and so did his dad,I told him to get out of my house,well he quickly reminded that his moms name is on the paperwork but we make the pmts.Anyway 1 thing led to another and police was called seems in TN you cant kick anyone out of your home for 30 days.So now all is forgiven and we are loaning him and his wife the money to get an apt.Ok again should be happy but still not because the problems still here in this house,I feel a change or fresh start is best for us,if we are going to have a chance to make this marriage work,Here we are day 5 of marriage and as usual not even so much as a kiss goodnight,why cause hes asleep as usual,I sit here and yes it does cross my mind that Pat would have NEVER done me this way,I really wanted this to work as I do love him and I also know he loves me,feels like he is just stuck in his ways,Not siure how to deal with all this,I never thought at 49 I would be married again to another man and gain 2 stepsons,step granddaughter and his x wife,I honestly think I should write a soap opera.I don't know how much more I can take,part of me says you love each other work it out and the other part of me says boy did you mess up,get a divorce and go home to MS and don't look back. It wasn't suppose to be this way.we are suppose to be on a honeymoon and not having to go through all this crap.Is this marriage worth saving or do I give up
Then to beat it all, his son was bad mpouthing mine,trying to cost my austic son his would be girlfriend,his son is autistic too but married and the father of our granddaughter.Anyway so I had enough and lit into his son about bad mouthing mine,my son was at his apt,so he had no idea what went on,after I got threw fussing at his son,I sat down and started watching tv,his son comes back out and says if I ever yell at hin again there will be big trouble,so then I really lit into him and so did his dad,I told him to get out of my house,well he quickly reminded that his moms name is on the paperwork but we make the pmts.Anyway 1 thing led to another and police was called seems in TN you cant kick anyone out of your home for 30 days.So now all is forgiven and we are loaning him and his wife the money to get an apt.Ok again should be happy but still not because the problems still here in this house,I feel a change or fresh start is best for us,if we are going to have a chance to make this marriage work,Here we are day 5 of marriage and as usual not even so much as a kiss goodnight,why cause hes asleep as usual,I sit here and yes it does cross my mind that Pat would have NEVER done me this way,I really wanted this to work as I do love him and I also know he loves me,feels like he is just stuck in his ways,Not siure how to deal with all this,I never thought at 49 I would be married again to another man and gain 2 stepsons,step granddaughter and his x wife,I honestly think I should write a soap opera.I don't know how much more I can take,part of me says you love each other work it out and the other part of me says boy did you mess up,get a divorce and go home to MS and don't look back. It wasn't suppose to be this way.we are suppose to be on a honeymoon and not having to go through all this crap.Is this marriage worth saving or do I give up
Replies
I can sympathize with you, give it a little time to adjust, you remind me of me. I met a man on DS and we were friends and then it evolved into something more although we have yet to meet, but I am getting to know his ways and not liking what I am seeing. He has a 26 yr old daughter who has \"ADD\" and she his life...I will not be a 2nd fiddle.....he also says things like if you were here we\'d be doing this and that and I know we wouldnt, If I was there I\'d be watching his stoopid tv shows and watching him fall asleep on the couch. He has made no effort to meet me and has many excuses ie: I cant leave my daughter....not even for a weekend? Make arrangements for her to stay somewhere, I got a brick wall on that. I feel he thinks I\'ll eventually go to him, and just mesh into his lifestyle and NO!
This isnt easy when you lose the one man you loved......but the lonliness is horrifying too. Keep in touch...I am here for you to talk to
And by the way if you messed up you messed up, you\'ll get through it, talk to him and tell hm you think your marriage deserves a fresh start away from the x. And perhaps away from the kids as well. I am having trmendous issues with my son deserting me and I am finally at the end of my rope, I am homeless while he is in Ohio getting married and taking a honeymoon and they got an apt and going to concerts and camping...and I have had to be redused to begging to get $ to get by on.
I never thought my son would be that way.....Good luck and prayer wouldnt hurt either. I am here if you need to talk.