What can I do?

It is not as if I do not know what I must do! I do. Truly I do! Its just being able to put it all into action, that is the hard part! And at the moment I do not have much time to socialize, because I am very behind with my course work! And I really should be doing it now, but I felt like going on here more.I just like that on Daily Strength I am not alone. That there are people who are like me, and they know what I am going through. So I would wish not to be selfish, and not think only of myself. When so many others, may suffer much more than I in other ways. Who am I to say I am suffering, when I have such an understanding family. Who are always there for me when I need to talk. Who am I really, to be so selfish when I have them?And yet I can't help thinking of myself so much. If you feel like your life has no meaning, even when there are those who love you in your family. How can you really not think of yourself? For me I am not allowed the more greater love. The love between a man and a woman. And it is all because of me, that they shy away. All because of me that they all view me the way they do. All because of me that I choose ( in a way) to be the way I am. A person pushing away others open arms, and looking instead for a dark hole to bury myself in. Away from everyone and everything.