What can I do?
Today I took Dorothy to the doctor at 2:30pm, by the time we went to the pharmacy for a prescription it was 4:30pm. I always drive Dorothy's minivan as it makes her feel more in control and less like she has to depend on me! So as I came down the street, I saw a white car parked in front of my old home. As we got closer I realized it was my daughter and her boyfriend. Their car was running but they hesitated as I started to pull in to Dorothy's driveway. They both refused to look at us, so I stopped blocking their way. I tried to wave at them, but my daughter wouldn't look at me or the car. They raced away barely getting around the end of the minivan. As they did I honked the horn. Neither one of them even moved their heads, they just kept driving even faster. What is wrong with me? My daughter won't look at me, let alone acknowledge me. All I wanted to do was wave at her and hopefully see her smile or maybe even wave back. I never would have held them up or even talked to her or them. But she can't even acknowledge I exist. How can her boyfriend act the same way? I have never even met him. What did I do to my daughter? Is it because I was born and then had the audacity to give birth to her? Is it because I wasn't really sick when I had breast cancer and had to have 3 major operations in 3 months? Or is it that I didn't die because of the breast cancer? That is probably it, she thinks I wasn't really sick, just as her father has said, I just made up all the cancer and forced the doctors by lying to them to do all those operations on me. So now I have embarrassed her in front of her friends and the rest of the world by not dying. Which is the only real cancer that any one can have, all other cancers are just a lie made up by the person who claims to have the cancer. So now I am a liar to boot! It just spirals on ward and down ward. I can't believe that I am never going to have any kind of a normal relationship with my own flesh and blood. I didn't give birth to her and raise her to treat me or anyone else this way. I didn't do with out for her entire life, just so she can spit on me. I didn't divorce my children. I divorced their father because of how he wanted them to grow up. I thought they were old enough and understood enough to know I gave up my desires and made them my priority. I could have stayed with their father and lived a perfectly normal life. But I couldn't allow him to ruin their lives with his stupidity. If I had never loved them or cared about them that is how it would have been. I would have lived a comfortable life and retired with a life and even when my ex died I would have been better off than I will be now. I loved my husband but he had some strange behaviors and ideas. I didn't think they would affect our children, as I was there to show them options and better ways to live. I thought they understood this, so when I divorced their father it was to show them there was an alternative to his strange view of life. I thought they would join me at least once in awhile, in living a normal life, but I was dead wrong. He holds more of a hold over them and has indoctrinated them so much since he got rid of me, that my daughter thinks she is a goddess. She must have total control over all who come in contact with her, or she won't acknowledge they exist. So far that is what she has with her father and probably now with her boyfriend. Sad to say my daughter is a VERY attractive young lady and the boyfriend is just plain homely. I know you can't judge a book by its cover, but for the way this young man behaves and his looks, I think he is missing a few marbles. I realize my daughter has fed him line of bull about me, but if he was a real man, he would at least drive safely with her in the car, because he wouldn't care what I tried to do. But his and her behavior can only lead me to believe he isn't very bright and she has lied to him about me. So what can I do? Nothing I just have to spend the rest of my life regretting I ever gave birth to her.