What brought me here...

I am potentially facing a divorce. My wife and I haven't even been married a year yet. We dated on and off for about four years. I picked up and moved my entire life to move in and live with her. Now that we may get a divorce I realize just how stupid that was. I live under her roof. Everytime that we ever argued she would always "kick me out." I am now left with nothing other than a deadline to start over. I know that I am fully capable of doing so but still I struggle...

Not because of financial hardships but simply because I am still in love with her. I still want my marriage to work. It seems as though she may have checked out a long time ago. It effects me everyday. She has become so distant that I have belief that she is stepping out of our marriage. It wouldnt be the first time. We werent married yet, just dating, but it happened at least three times that I can prove. I resnt her because of it. I view life differently because of it. and I hold some hate towards her because of it.

Ive become hopeless. I feel like I have nowhere to turn. I have a huge family, and a few close friends but I choose not to confide in them so that they wont have any ill feelings towards her. Because I love her and would give her anything that she wanted or needed. I amistruggling to accept the fact that she just isn't in love with me. She hasnt been in a very long time. But I married her knowing that I am in love and want to spend the rest of my life with her. After our wedding she specifically told her sister that she wasnt in love with me. But I stayed. Because I knew just how much she meant to me, and I figured if I spent my life loving her as I believe she deserves then eventually she will learn to fall in love. Nearly a year has passed and that is not the case.

I just dont want to feel alone any more. I want to be happy. I want to be loved and cared for by someone else. I deserve it. I need it. It feels good to actually get these word out there. At the same time it breaks my heart reading my own story, knowing the right thing to do. So excuse me as I go cry.....

-Someone who is Deserving.