What an ass...
Well today I asked him what his plans are for the future...said I guess I'm moving out. Yeah right..don't see that happening anytime soon. Like an ass, I started to cry and pour my heart out again, saying how disrespectful it was she texted me at the concert, how he changed from the man I married to this person he is now, to him assuming things about me, how they had to talk and text when I wasn't around at the beach with our family, etc. and on and on. Don't even know why I bother...I really don't think he cares. His body language tells me that. He even had the nerve to tell me that I knew Dena was going to be at the concert...how would I know that!? He said I told him so and based on the emails I found. I said would I have gone if I knew she was going to be there. I didn't know at all...basically called me a liar, but I honestly didn't. Again, he doesn't even know how to keep his own lies up and what he told whom. He knows I do not believe a word he says and probably never will on most things. He says he's not with her...yeah right...whatever. Guess I have to accept their relationship regardless of how I want it. Honestly, I asked if he was going to file and he said he didn't think so...didn't think it was an option. I told him I was probably going to then...and he shook his head like he'd given up and really didn't care. Guess I got my answer. I have a few months to think but I don't ever think I could be with him again. I deserved soooo much better than his lies, deceit, and adultery. I treat him like a room mate. We (don't know why I went but I needed Vitamin D) went to the pool together and didn't say much. Just treated each other like strangers. It's sad to be this way but in the same respect I hate myself for this because I'm becoming bitchy, and have a nasty look on my face all the time. Jaded? Yes. I have/am building a wall that I don't think anyone could break down after this or will have a hard time trying. Give a chance...they will have to move mountains for me to trust them. He has done this to me and for that, I hate him for it. For me...again, I feel like an ass for breaking down in front of him and letting him see me vulnerable, yet again. Well...live and learn. I guess that won't change.
Replies
Here\'s some ideas, take them for what they are worth. I say these things cause I\'ve been EXACTLY in your shoes (so think of it as my advice, if I could go back and do things differently, cause I didn\'t have the capability to do it!)
(1) Kick his BUTT to the curb!! Why is he still there!? Tell him he has 48 hours to find a place and vacate the house. Take back the power. Your lurking around, feeling like crap cause this hollow shell of a man is there, not your friend, not your husband, not even a decent room-mate. So give him the heave-ho and start taking back your life!
(2) You\'ve read his body-language, seen his actions, observed his emotion(less) self. This relationship is broken. You ARE right. You deserve better, you deserve someone who will not do these things to you and treat you the way you deserve. Guess what? You only get to that point once you get Mr-Can\'t-Keep-My-Hands-Off-The-Help out of your life. Recognize it is over, don\'t pour out your emotions to him and take back the power. Only then will you start the path to recovery.
(3) Get a kick-ass, pit-bull attorney and file on him. He doesn\'t want to file cause he\'s a wimp. Hell, why should he? He gets the best of all things. He gets to have his playmate, stay in his house, and nothing looks to shabby for him. His life is just fine the way it is. Again, take control, force the action, and take back YOUR power.
Big hugs and give\'m hell!
Yep, they get to the point where the affair more or less turns them into a compulsive liar. LOL about him saying he \"isn\'t with her.\" That\'s the same shit the OM pulled on his wife, told her that he and my W \"weren\'t dating.\" No, technically her blowing him in his car isn\'t \'dating\' I guess.
I agree with Higher\'s advice, why the F wouldn\'t he want to move out and file if this is really what supposedly makes him so happy? Sorry but if he was not with her he wouldn\'t be texting her and calling her so much. He is playing you like X-box and you need to put a stop to it and fast. And if he threatens about the money again, tell him you will be letting your attorney handle his threats from now on and he can forward them straight to her/him.
((((llmt)))) Hang in there...you\'re going to get through this okay.
Yeah...I know...any response to her is \"being with her\" and I allowed that right from the start because that is the person I am and believed and trusted him. He says it\'s only work related about the students...my ass! I am starting to feel a little better about things...at least for now. But tomorrow is another day, so I will see. Higher and Dad you are good men...good men and don\'t you forget that. Higher do have a pit bull attorney...man is she a nasty one too, if I need her but the law in DE is the law so that will be that. DAD..yeah, technically the OW \"blowing him on I-95, while he had half a hand up her, while driving drunk\" (and I took that quote from his email) doesn\'t constitute dating either.
This guy is a scumbag. He\'s cheating.....you deserve so much better. Kick him to the curb! Life\'s too short to be miserable.
Hmmmmm not sure why you are still there. Get out, get out now. I know it seems scary, venturing out on your own.......but it is \"doable\" and gets better with time. You will not believe how liberating it is to get your \"own\" place. Free from his BS. You can begin to heal. Let his BS go. You can be strong, you deserve more, you are so much better than either of them.! Big Hug. Lori