What an ass...
Well today I asked him what his plans are for the future...said I guess I'm moving out. Yeah right..don't see that happening anytime soon. Like an ass, I started to cry and pour my heart out again, saying how disrespectful it was she texted me at the concert, how he changed from the man I married to this person he is now, to him assuming things about me, how they had to talk and text when I wasn't around at the beach with our family, etc. and on and on. Don't even know why I bother...I really don't think he cares. His body language tells me that. He even had the nerve to tell me that I knew Dena was going to be at the concert...how would I know that!? He said I told him so and based on the emails I found. I said would I have gone if I knew she was going to be there. I didn't know at all...basically called me a liar, but I honestly didn't. Again, he doesn't even know how to keep his own lies up and what he told whom. He knows I do not believe a word he says and probably never will on most things. He says he's not with her...yeah right...whatever. Guess I have to accept their relationship regardless of how I want it. Honestly, I asked if he was going to file and he said he didn't think so...didn't think it was an option. I told him I was probably going to then...and he shook his head like he'd given up and really didn't care. Guess I got my answer. I have a few months to think but I don't ever think I could be with him again. I deserved soooo much better than his lies, deceit, and adultery. I treat him like a room mate. We (don't know why I went but I needed Vitamin D) went to the pool together and didn't say much. Just treated each other like strangers. It's sad to be this way but in the same respect I hate myself for this because I'm becoming bitchy, and have a nasty look on my face all the time. Jaded? Yes. I have/am building a wall that I don't think anyone could break down after this or will have a hard time trying. Give a chance...they will have to move mountains for me to trust them. He has done this to me and for that, I hate him for it. For me...again, I feel like an ass for breaking down in front of him and letting him see me vulnerable, yet again. Well...live and learn. I guess that won't change.
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