What a time!

I refuse to be lonesome! I will not go into a weekend with no purpose and no smile on my face! And I must have chocolate milk! (These are related; just keep reading) So I called some of the special friends and survivors I know, and we met at IHOP last night. Did you know that chocolate milk and pancakes can be holy communion? Well, they can be. This was one of those times that I look back with fondness through my life with loved ones and recognize as "holy time," even if it didn't seem on the surface to be more than a late-night campout at a diner table joking and drinking refills (apologizes to Brandon, our waiter).  Until the early hours of the morning we just talked and talked, joked and joked, and were simply THERE for one another. Nothing heavy, no therapy, no stuck points, no tears, no shame, no uncomfortable sexual tensions between a man and women, no obligations, no veiled conflicts, no walking on eggshells about certain topics...just freedom and comraderie. Just a chance to find something about being a survivor that isn't about anguish, embarrassment, or isolation and loneliness. One of my friends brought her copy of"Resurrection After Rape," which she has not let out of her sight yet, and showed me her extensive underlining and margin notes. She wanted to ask some questions about some of the issues, so right there at IHOP we processed everything from dissociation to confrontation to redefining your spirit as a survivor.  See, this is what we need that we lack. We need this tribe, we need this ability to call someone at 10:00 on Friday night and say "IHOP, twenty minutes!" and convene a council of the tribal elders around the sacred powwow of eggs and syrup. I just don't know how you make it through this without having your tribe.  Anyone else wanna come? Head to Oklahoma; I'll show you the most amazing women you ever saw. Even in a moment of goofy fun, I am still so inspired and proud of these young women, and the heart and muscle they have put into this work. Damn, they are something special.