What A Surprise

My GP had said he would contact my pdoc after the weekend (last weekend). Well my pdoc gave him all week and heard nothing. So he phoned the surgery yesterday and left several messages with the receptionists asking him to contact him. He's heard nothing. That's my GP for you! I'm so angry with him. I don't even know if he's bothered to make and phone calls regarding my referal or even looked into eating disorder treatments in my area. My pdoc is going to phone him again on Monday and ask to speak to him directly. He's as angry as us. When a consultant psychiatrist of one of your patients asks you to contact them...you do it. He's had all week! Thankfully my pdoc is a much better doctor and even though he had no news phoned me yesterday to let us know what was going on and ask I was. He himself has actually done some phoning around his end as he has some contacts, who have contact with a doctor who people with eating disorders are usually sent to. He told us that this particular doctor works under a hospital in Slough and Windsor, both of which are miles away but he has said he will get in touch with her anyway to ask for advice.So that's it now until Monday. It's back to waiting again.  I had a really bad day yesterday. Binged again and went through hell afterwards. I'm so sick of this. I purged 'properly' for the first time yesterday..I've never been able to do it before. I'm not proud of it and it wasn't much. I stopped after the first time because I thought of my meds I'd recently taken.I was really depressed yesterday too. In the afternoon I just broke down in tears. Everything just got to me. All I could think was I want to go back to the way things were. It feels like it's my fault I'm like this. That if I'd have kept quiet I'd still be living a normal life. The thing that is upsetting me the most at the moment is my job. I miss it SO much. I felt useful. I had friends there, we were all really close, went out together after work etc...and even if I'm able to go back a couple of mornings a week like I started doing, it won't be the same. They'll treat me differently even if they don't mean to. I actually had a social life and had just started going out with them more often (I'm quite a shy person). Nothing is EVER going to be the same and I just wish I could be the person I was before.