What a month it\'s been!
Hey Everyone!I'm so sorry it's been so long since I have last updated my journal. This last month has been a busy one for me. My pain levels have been pretty low, and I have really been taking advantage of it. I've been getting out more and going to lunch with friends, or shopping. I've been busy taking care of my grandparents and looking for some part time computer work I could do. Finances pretty much suck right now. I hate not knowing where our next rent check will come from. I've got to find some work that my body can handle and soon. That's a feat in itself. Wish me luck, please! Last weekend my boyfriend Jon was very sick with a sinus infection and cold. I took care of him and babied him. Don't we always have to when men get sick? LOL Well, guess what...YEP...Now I have it! And where is my darling boyfriend when he should be taking care of me? Sleeping of course. LOL I don't mind. He's had a long hard week too. And he's still nursing the end of his cold. I swear he acted like he was dying when he was sick, but me? I have to pull it together and take care of myself. LOL Don't worry, when he gets up he's going to have some chores to do. LOLOk...on a very sad and upseting note. Yesterday my grandmother (the woman that really raised me who I loved to death) was put in a nursing home. I'm so very heartbroken. October 2006 she lost her memory. I know some of you know about this, but for others I'll make this short. Doctor's still haven't really dianosed her with dementia or anything, because this isn't normal ole memory loss. She does occationally come out of it. It could be for a few hours to a couple of days. Then she will go back into it. She remembers people and her past, but nothing recent or short term. Her doctors think the drug Lyrica did this to her. We all agree as well. Well about a month ago she was put in the hospital for breathing problems and very high, then low blood sugar. (she's diabetic) Ever since she came out of the hospital she has been having these crazy outbursts of yelling, and cussing. And she fights when we try to bath her or anything. She was put on a new medicine after the hospital visit called celexa and the side effects do sound like what she's been going through. We took her off of it to see if it will help.But my blind 78 year old grandfather is who takes care of her when my mom or I aren't there. And the last 19 months has been hell on him. He's very stubborn and likes everything his own way so he won't let anyone come and sit with her at night. He doesn't trust anyone. We finally just talked him in to getting a nurse come a couple days a week. But anyway, after 5 nights of no sleep, my grandfather decided to put her in a nursing home. He said it will just be a trial. I just feel so terible about this. I'm so worried she won't come out again. I wish I had the room to take her in here, but we have no way of taking care of her. I feel extra bad because I promised her I would take care of her when something like this happened. And we all promised her we would never let her go to a home. Well, I guess things change...I feel like it's my fault. Like I should be able to do something to keep her from going in there. Someone will definietly be there everyday to see her and at different times so the staff won't know when we are coming. I hope she comes back home soon. I really do. I miss her so much. Even though she is still alive and with us, her mind isn't the same and I miss having her to talk to everyday to watch American Idol with and gossip about things with her. I couldn't hug her for long enough before she went. I didn't want to let her go. But maybe this will be good for her. She tends to want to stay in bed all day and she won't even read or watch TV. Maybe they will get her moving and around people. I hope so. Please, if you pray, please pray she gets better and can come home.That's all she wrote...I'll bore you more later. LOLLove you all,Jessica
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