" WHAT IF ? "

What if when Penny was born,she hadn't been sick?Would she been normal?What if when she was growing up,would she had been healthy?Would she had no Pain?What if she would have had a sister or brother?Would that made her better?What if she never been Sick?Would she ever had Children?What if I was older when I had her?Would that had made a difference?What if I made better choices for her?Would she had still been living with me?What if I didn't listen to Doctor's?Would she still be here on Earth?I wish I had the answers? Only If We Had More Time ????????????I know I shouldn't say or think "What If" ?But I am feeling Sad Today and don't mean to get anyone down------- just the way I am Feeling!!!!!!!!!!I can't change things!

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

We all wish we had made different choices in raising and caring for our children. Would it have made a difference? I don\'t know. I think in this life we do the best job we can with the tools we have. I, too, like you question myself as to what I should have done to keep my daughter with me on this earth longer. God only knows. From your journal I can tell that you loved Penny with all your heart and from the beautiful pictures you have posted she looked very happy. Please don\'t dwell on the iffa, woulda, coulda, shoulda thoughts. Remember the good times. The hurt will never go away, it was ease with time though. I pray that your friends at Daily Strength become your family and that you continue to lean on us for support. Hope you have a good day today. Love, BarbaraWawa
RememberKala
RememberKala

I understand going to the \"what if\" place. It\'s impossible not to from time to time. But Barbara is right, your incredible love for Penny, and hers for you, shines through in every picture you\'ve so graciously shared with us. I tend to think of all the what ifs that I consider would have made Kala\'s life better.....getting married and having children, and so forth. But \"what if\" she\'d married a horrid man who abused her and her children? I try to steer clear of the what if\'s now and focus on the what was and what is. That\'s all that really matters. They were our babies sleeping in our loving arms. They were our toddlers tugging at our dresses. They were our little girls playing and laughing and drinking coke and coloring. They were our young ladies growing and changing before our eyes. And they are forever our daughters, our greatest gifts. What if doesn\'t really matter, what was and what is, is LOVE. And LOVE is all that matters. I love you my dear friend, Teri.
KellyLee105
KellyLee105

The \"what if\'s\" almost put me in the hospital, I felt so helpless & guilty, as though it was my fault. I do know Ryan Loved me with all his heart, as Penny loved you.. So I try to Think, Ryan lived what Gods purpose was for him, & God has better plans for him.. I try to change my thinking around, to help comfort myself.. Love, Kelly
biowoman
biowoman

What ifs are so hard...it is like we want to go there and then we hate to think them...you have said them...but now put those thoughts away...hugging you...Karen
Robin4
Robin4

Those what if\'s are so difficult to sort through. I have so many myself but I\'m doing better in changing my thinking. What if I had never had my son? That thought is so heartbreaking, so I\'m grateful I had him for almost 19 years. The time was much too short but so wonderful. Love to you. Robin
deleted_user
deleted_user

The \"what ifs\" are so hard for us all. On this journey it starts out like we\'re kind of \"numb\" usually to our loss, and in shock/denial. Then REALITY hits us that no, they\'re never going to be physically with us again in this life and it\'s really really rough. Then slowly if we allow ourselves, and don\'t get \"stuck\"on something that we won\'t work through, we can start to heal. Most of the times this seems to be pretty much the grief road but of course everybody is different. And we all do our own thing in our own timing. Don\'t give up hope tho. It takes awhile but peace comes. And joy without guilt! Love and Hugs, Donna